It's official...she's four

Stop the world - Emma turned 4....no seriously Stop the world! She can stop growing any time now. For that matter so can Sam but that's for another day (the boy weigh's 20lbs...he's HUGE! - ok maybe no huge but my arms hurt). Back to Emma. The girl is 4 years old. So far I have not cried although I've contemplated it a few times. My baby, firstborn little girl. sniff sniff. She was very excited to open her presents this morning - 3 curious george books and one new movie - the little mermaid. She carried those books around with her ALL day long. She enjoyed her doughnut this morning, and come to think of it half of it is still in the van... mental note - need to retrieve that before she munches on it two days from now...blech. By request we had spaghetti & meatballs for dinner tonight. She even had a bite of B's cake at her birthday party tonight (Emma does NOT like cake ~ more on that later).

~ My heart is feeling heavy though ~ more than just my baby girl growing up. I've realized something recently and it makes me sad. Sad for D & I, and sad for the kids. I'm not sure what to do about it, or even if it would change anything. Do I want it to change anything ~ hrm...now there's a question. I see a mix of glee, and confusion. A desire that will never be. Or at least not in my control will it ever be. Something to ponder for some time to come ~