Tuesday, January 16, 2007

If it's not one thing it's another

Seriously when it rains it pours! Last week on Wed I was SO tired of the drainage in my c-section incision that I called my OB. I know - 6 mos later. After playing some phone tag with the staff there an appt was made for Thursday morning. SWEET! Thurs morning would be busy, but I can handle it. I got the van all packed to be out the door Wed night. Kids clothes laid out, breakfast planned, ride for Emma to be picked up from school. Thurs morning comes - and all is going well. We hop in the van shortly after 7 am and pull away from #9 here. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR - that's the sound my van makes...ok maybe something is stuck under it.. I turn the corner - it gets LOUDER. SIGH. Pick up D's phone and call him. "DO YOU HERE THIS?" I'm literally driving around the block. "Eh..it probably just hasn't warmed up" I don't think so. I circle the block he jumps in the van. The noise gets louder - we check the puddle that was under the van. I have lost the power steering in the van. SIGH. I have none here so I must keep going. By the time I get to my mom's I literally have NO power steering. I fill it up at her house, drive down to the end of the road and it's clearly not better. Call Dr R cancel my appt. Take my mom's car to preschool (which was rather interesting in itself as my feet DO NOT reach the pedals), and then back to mom's. She follows me to the mechanic....again 4 miles away and I have no power steering - AAAHH! Thankfully they could look at it and fix it in the SAME day. $80 later and I'm back on the road!
Friday morning I take BOTH kids to the OB's office. Which of course everyone was thrilled to see the kids. Dr R determines she NEEDS to open my incision. AAAHHH. Not what I wanted to hear, but what I expected to hear. So Monday we had an in office "surgery" where she opened it up, cleaned it out, and sewed me back up again. I was expecting it to take a little out of me, but I was WIPED afterward. I felt awful - the stress of it all was not helping. At the same time we find out that it's going to cost $400-$600 to get the car inspected. Seriously that's cheaper that a car payment but are we going to spend all of D's holiday pay on our vehicles? We get home from the dr's and it's 58 degrees in the house. 58 degrees. It's snowed/iced all day and now it's COLD. We ran out of oil. AAAHHH! ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? Thankfully Downeast Energy will deliver at 6 pm at night.
Today the car got fixed for less than the quoted price - THANK YOU JESUS! Now to get the van inspected. Thankfully that should pass easily.

This sifting process that we're going thru right now is painful and not fun. We are learning to rely on God. I am trying to not be bitter, or angry but as the days go on it is becoming more and more so. Where is that line in supporting my husband, and trusting him, and saying enough is enough? I'm tired of seeing him hurt by people. I'm tired of people outside of our family and "core" group not trusting his decisions. He is the leader of our family and he's trying desperately to lead. And people are stepping in the way left and right. I'm frustrated. I've never cried so much as I have over the last few days. I of course don't want him to make decisions based upon MY feelings - because really those would be wrong. But it hurts me to have it like this. :( It wasn't supposed to be like this. And now I'm more than TICKED. I honestly don't think I can face some people because I might just let my anger take over. I don't want that. This is one of those days when we just want to run away.

1 comment:

angela said...

WE LOVE YOU!!! I am so sorry you are going through all this right now- we will be onour knees for you.

Looking forward to seeing you guys on Sunday- hopefully that will lift the spirits a little.