Friday, November 5, 2010

"I should have missed this"

I think of that often.  I should have missed this.  I'm so thankful for God's plan.  I should have missed the first day of school for lovergirl and buddy.  I should have missed all the soccer games, and practices.  I wasn't supposed to be here for camping in the yard with the family.  Running in a 5K should have never happened.  But it did.  Just like so many other things.  I choke back tears time and time again.  It doesn't have to be anything significant like celebrating birthdays, or holidays.  It can be little things like seeing your kids hold hands or helping in a classroom.  Many times it hits me in the face when I least expect it.  Those are the times I probably need it the most.  To remind me what could have been.  Near death experiences make you appreciate everything so much more.  Seeing the youngest wanting to wear her spiderwoman costume out to eat.  Realizing in the grand scheme of it all its NOT a big deal.  She's clothed, she's happy, she's not hurting anyone.  The spraying of the hose on the house...I actually sit back and laugh at it now instead of running outside insisting the kids shut it off.  Are the windows closed?  Yes.  Is it hurting anyone?  No.  Keep spraying (and don't ride your bikes near her when she's spraying).    Being sneezed on and coughed on.  Finding a little girl who insists on taking everything off in order to falls asleep to only redress her at 9 pm when she's half asleep.  Watching the oldest get off the bus and wander down the road trying to step on as many leaves as possible.  In a brief moment all of that should have been taken away.  I could have missed all of this.  I'm so glad I haven't.