And so it goes...

The story doesn't always turn out the way you think it will.  The favorite tv show ends with a twist you didn't want (and you yell at the tv!)...the book ends leaving you hanging....the letter that leaves you surprised.

Life is that way.  Where you thought you'd be in 1 year, 3 years, 5+ years is not where you are.  Thats where I find myself today.  In a different spot then where I thought I'd be.   I could choose to sit and wallow in that or I can choose to be thankful for where I'm at.  

I'm choosing thankfulness.

Today I'm thankful for:
A Savior who lives me even in my mess.

A husband who chooses what is best for our family.
Healthcare that is available to me.  

3 kids who laugh at the things I say or do that are just downright ridiculous when this brain of mine doesn't work right.
Friends who are understanding, pray for me, and talk me through things.  

Some days....

Some days are

..Incredibly hard

..Tiring

..Wear out every inch of me

Today happens to be one of those days.  

Samuel....

please stop sniffing the glue.

Review

On Christmas eve our little family did what we normally do at bed time.  Pajamas on.  Brush teeth.  Pile into our bed for Bible and prayer.  Wrestle over the blankets and who is laying where.  Don and I had reviewed together what our expectations for Christmas morning would look like.  The kids are getting older and so we knew we could change things a bit.  We knew though that we needed to tell them the night before what those expectations were.
When they come downstairs that they could immediately play with their gift from Santa, and open their stocking.  After that we would read the Christmas story before we opened any gifts.

In order to help cement it in, we decided they should tell us (besides were they really listening with all the fidgeting and giggling?).
So we asked what happens first and Sam took the lead on answering the questions:

"First we wake up"  Gotcha.  Good point.

"Okay, then what?"

"Then we come downstairs"  Ahhh!  Almost forgot that.  They have to come downstairs.

"What happens after you come down stairs?"

"Then we scream."

We all started laughing.

I'd like to say that it happened differently on Christmas morning, but it was exactly as he said.  First they woke up.  Then they came downstairs.  Lastly they screamed.

They did get our expectations, and it was a wonderful Christmas morning.  Even with the scream!

You need to write this down!

While texting with a friend this week, about the antics that were happening in this house, she said to me "You better be writing this down.  It is so funny!"


You know, I need to be writing it down.  My brain doesn't remember all these things.  The stuff IS funny.  I want the kids to be able to look back someday and say "Really?  I said that?" or it to spark a memory.

So after almost a year since my last post I'm inspired to start writing it down again.  The fun.  The not so fun.  The easy stuff and the hard stuff.


Let the writing begin.

Flesh

It comes in MANY colors.....

In just a moment....

My dear Richarmie

It's January 12.

A day that in one moment everything in your life changed. 

A moment that is in your memory.  

A moment when everything you had no matter how much or little it was, was gone.

In an instant.  

In just one moment, one tick of the clock everything you knew, everything that was home, everyone that was family changed.

It's a moment, an instant that can never be changed.  

On this day, two years ago, you lost your parents.  Richarmie I know you tried.  I know you tried to reach them.  You also had a little brother, Djemson that needed to be protected.  Who was most likely just as confused as you were, if not more.

The tears you cried that day, and the weeks that followed I simply can not imagine.  

If I could be there today to hold you, to pray with you and over you, I would.  I would be there in a moment.  Instead I'm here, and you are there.  I hope you re-read my last letter and know that I pray for you every day.  

Today is different though.  I pray your heart is comforted.  I pray you understand that we want to honor what your parents started.  I pray that you know that we love you and Djemson.  

I also want you to know that exactly eleven months after that devastating moment  I saw your picture for the first time.  I heard your story.  

That moment is forever in my memory. 

A moment where everything changed.

In an instant.

One moment, one tick of the clock, where everything that was life as I knew it changed.

There were tears that would not stop.  I don't think I had ever felt that physically ill over someone who I had never met before.  I cried for weeks, for you and Djemson.  I laid in bed awake each night wondering about you and realizing that everything I knew was changing.  

In just that one moment our lives were forever changed by you.  

I love you my sweet Richarmie.  

I love you for that moment of changing our lives.

I love you for all the moments yet to come.