Life Of A Mom

Flesh

2012-01-17T07:34:00.000-05:00

It comes in MANY colors.....

In just a moment....

2012-01-12T09:00:00.000-05:00

My dear Sophia

It's January 12.

A day that in one moment everything in your life changed.

A moment that is in your memory.

A moment when everything you had no matter how much or little it was, was gone.

In an instant.

In just one moment, one tick of the clock everything you knew, everything that was home, everyone that was family changed.

It's a moment, an instant that can never be changed.

On this day, two years ago, you lost your parents. Sophia I know you tried. I know you tried to reach them. You also had a little brother, Djemson that needed to be protected. Who was most likely just as confused as you were, if not more.

The tears you cried that day, and the weeks that followed I simply can not imagine.

If I could be there today to hold you, to pray with you and over you, I would. I would be there in a moment. Instead I'm here, and you are there. I hope you re-read my last letter and know that I pray for you every day.

Today is different though. I pray your heart is comforted. I pray you understand that we want to honor what your parents started. I pray that you know that we love you and Djemson.

I also want you to know that exactly eleven months after that devastating moment I saw your picture for the first time. I heard your story.

That moment is forever in my memory.

A moment where everything changed.

In an instant.

One moment, one tick of the clock, where everything that was life as I knew it changed.

There were tears that would not stop. I don't think I had ever felt that physically ill over someone who I had never met before. I cried for weeks, for you and Djemson. I laid in bed awake each night wondering about you and realizing that everything I knew was changing.

In just that one moment our lives were forever changed by you.

I love you my sweet Sophia.

I love you for that moment of changing our lives.

I love you for all the moments yet to come.

Todays to do list:

2012-01-04T07:43:00.003-05:00

Keep the stove going and the house warm.
Go to the neurologist for a follow up.
Nap.
Make comfort food for dinner.

I didn't get my exercise in yesterday, but I've already done it today. That's right @ 5:35 this morning I was down stairs on the bike riding. I don't like getting up that early, but it feels good to get it out of the way.
I have 3 loads of laundry to fold (the ones I washed and dried from yesterday) that I'll fit in somewhere. I didn't get everything done yesterday, but I did get lots of play time with the kids. We got Rory's Story Cubes for Christmas, and Sam really likes playing that game. It is helping him with his imagination, and story telling skills. He enjoys it, and I did enjoy his fish or turtle trying to get on the plane in various stories!

Enjoy the day!

Todays to-do list

2012-01-03T06:32:00.002-05:00

I need to start writing out my to-do list. Really simple things that slip my mind, but at the end of the day I think "huh...I didn't get that done" So here goes today:
~~Check all the windows and close the storm windows. It's cold outside, and I need to keep in as much heat as I can~~
~~Clean the kitchen window of the NASTY web thats in there~~
Laundry
~~Turn the 'sit-up' reminders back on for my phone.~~
Ride my bike for 25 minutes
Take some photos for items to list on craigslist
Plan some coupon shopping (No worries, I'm not going to go clean out our local rite aid!)

I'll be back through out the day to cross items off the list!

A New Years Letter!

2012-01-01T15:52:00.002-05:00

Dear Friends and Family,
Well it seems we didn’t get Christmas cards out this year. For one reason (or maybe 100 reasons) it just didn’t happen. So lucky you gets our e-version of a New Years letter!

The past year has brought it’s share of surprises and excitement...and yet at the same time its share of sadness.

In March we celebrated Laurie’s one year anniversary from her aneurysm. As we looked back over the prior year we were amazed at how far God had brought us. We followed that up by celebrating 2 birthdays (Laurie’s and Eliza’s 3rd birthday) and then a trip to Haiti! It was then that we got to meet and spend time with Djemson and Sophia. We loved our time there and we miss them! We also are amazed at how quickly Emma, Sam and Eliza have loved them, and how often they ask when they will be home. They pray for them, talk about them, and draw pictures of them.
May brought about our ten year anniversary, but it was the middle of gearing up for Emma’s dance recital with practices! We were very proud of Emma and the work she put in to her dance class this past year, and we look forward to this coming recital in June. We were able to go away in June for a weekend for our anniversary, which was a nice time away.

June also saw the end of preschool for Sam, and the completion of 2nd grade for Emma. Both did an excellent job in school and while they looked forward to the summer, they were sad to see the school year end. We were able to fill the summer with trips to the library, stops at the park, lots of playing at beaches and lakes, a weekend camping trip and Sam’s 5th birthday! We had a great summer of the kids being home.

The end of August brought Laurie’s first seizure. We are thankful that she was in a public place with the kids and not driving (as was the original plan to just ‘head home’). After a whirlwind week of doctors appoints she started Keppra and has been seizure free since. In November she was able to resume her normal activities including driving the kids to preschool, running errands and more.
School started late for Emma thanks to Hurricane Irene, and she was very disappointed, but 3rd grade is going well. Sam and Eliza are both in preschool this year ~ Sam goes 3 days a week and Eliza goes 2 days. They like being at the same school and love their friends and their teachers. We are blessed to have them! September also brought Djemson’s birthday and Don’s birthday. The fall also brought the beginning of soccer season where all 3 kids played. It was a great fun season. We also saw the completion of collecting every piece of paper for our Dossier. We were excited to see that we have all those papers!

With the completion of the Dossier, comes the need for finances. It has been weighing heavy on our hearts as yesterday was Sophia’s 9th birthday. We miss our kids, and we long to have them join us. In honor of Sophia’s birthday (and Djemson’s birthday in September) we are asking people to consider donating to our adoption fund so that we can send in our Dossier and the process really begin in bringing them home. Our ‘timer’ does not start until our final payment is made and our Dossier is delivered. Donations can be made at Sanford Institution for Savings, 254 Long Plains Rd, Buxton, ME 04093. Please make gifts payable to ‘Haiti Children’ fund. You can also use Paypal over there ---->
We look forward to what God has for us in 2012. If we had sent a ‘real’ Christmas card there would have been two photos included. So we leave those with you

Much Love,

The Coldwell's

Don, Laurie, Emma, Sam, Eliza, Djemson and Sophia

Minimizing

2011-12-15T13:31:00.001-05:00

Going into the Christmas season and minimizing was really the right decision for us. At first I began to think "what was I thinking" as the ads for this toy or that item were coming to us.

It's refreshing though. We are choosing wisely what we are purchasing for presents. Not that we have gone crazy in years past, but I think we are putting more thought into items then we ever have before.
The exciting part for me, is that I'm not wondering "where are they going to put this?" or "What can we get them to get rid of to make room for X or Y" Our children are happily parting with items that they no longer love to play with (or they are packing them away for a time). They truly recognize that the space is worth it ~ to be able to spread out and play with what they have. Which almost makes gift purchasing easier. I'm not sneaking things OUT of the house.

It's also making it easier for me to purchase gifts for my husband, and others. If I'm minimizing what is in our home, how can we bless another individual with something that isn't going to just 'take up space'.

In this I've only come across one problem...the 3rd grade Christmas swap that is happening in Emma's classroom. We have slimmed down so much on things that we don't use, that we are really trying to come up with something in order for her to participate (the rules state that it can not be a new item ~ it needs to be something from home, that you no longer love/use). Um...I got rid of all that stuff! It has given Emma the opportunity to see that there are few things that she has a TON of (Silly bands anyone?). I appreciate that we're not spending $$ on a gift, but at the same time I'm viewing this as a 'junk swap' LOL! I think though, I'd rather have the problem of not knowing what to send in with her, vs the problem of not being able to walk through our house because of the amount of stuff strewn around.

Progress!

2011-11-07T06:26:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was a stay home day from church for the girls and I. We are fighting off some germs and wanted to spare our friends of them. (You are welcome)

To continue on in the minimalist journey, we cleaned out our mudroom/sunroom/entry whatever you want to call it room. Each child has a bin with hats and mittens in it (along with snow pants and boots). My girls...ahhh love them. They are hat collectors. How many hats does each child *really* need? In my minimalist mind I say 1. One hat. Living in reality in this house I think 3 might be a better number because there will be hats lost, or left somewhere. So each girl had to pick their 3 favorite hats (they each had 6!)

Some they didn't even know they had.

They have been packed away for future use. I'm kind of doubting that we will have 3 hats for each girl in the spring.

We discovered multiple pairs of shoes that belonged to one little princess. No wonder she can't ever find any in her room.

The screens came out of the windows (we have crank out windows on one side) to wash them, and the room brightened. I didn't realize exactly how much sun was being kept out!

Husband cleaned out (on his own) his 'area' of 'stuff'. I'm liking this room! I'm anxious to PAINT it now.
*It was at this point where I told my husband I wanted paint for Christmas. Gallons and gallons of paint*

We were able to put away the entire clothes basket full of 'keep' items and in the process I cleaned out part of our basement 'storage' area. I now have a giant tote of 'get rid of' items. In order to use that tote though I unpacked a big stack of towels I had purchased for when we re-do the bathroom. Over a year ago. It hasn't been re-done. But I'm not storing them any longer. *I'd also like some paint for the bathroom!*

I woke up to happier calmer place this morning.

Today will be a break from purging and I'll just enjoy our home. I have a goal to start mixing our Christmas cookies up and freezing the batter for later. This will allow me to see how this works with only having limited items in our home. This afternoon we may make a run in the kids rooms *yipes*

Or I could just be the *sneaky* mom and do it while they are at school tomorrow. *grin*

Working towards becoming a Minimalist

2011-11-05T19:48:00.000-04:00

We're moving in a direction of becoming minimalists. I'm ~~dragging~~ guiding the family in that direction. I read this article today ~ one of several that I've read over the last couple of months.

I CRAVE less in my home. Not that we live in clutter. I just like clean lines and space.

My family thinks I've gone out of my mind. Tonight I started in the kitchen. Sam actually asked if we were packing and moving. I took an ENTIRE clothes basket overflowing OUT of the kitchen. GREAT items. Some are just extra that I will store until the other 2 items just like it wear out (I may have reached a limit on how many rubber spatulas one person needs in the kitchen). Some items we're just simply getting rid of. Then there are the things that get used once or twice a year ~ you know like the meat thermometer to check to make sure the turkey is done. It really should go with the roasting pan and not in a drawer for me to move every day. So I'm re-assigning where items go.

Tomorrow I'll go thru the basket of 'keep' items and put them in their new home (storage, or with a like item).

We'll also start our 'get rid of' box.

I invite you to join me, as we move in that direction of less is more.

Even if you fight?

2011-10-19T16:26:00.001-04:00

The family has started a new family Bible to read at night. We have read the Jesus Storybook Bible so many times the kids are beginning to be able to recite parts of it. We wanted something more...something with questions that related to what we read. Starting points for conversations. Sometimes I just can't come up with a question just before bed time, and at breakfast? No way!

Just last week we started this one... Mighty Acts of God. I have to say, I like it. There are about four questions to go with each story. The first night we read every question. Mistake with a 3 and 5 year old! Emma was 'in' to it, but the other two were not by the end. So now we scan the story and questions while the kids are brushing their teeth so we have an idea of what the story is, and what questions would best pertain to our kids.

On Saturday evening I was reading with the kids while D was out speaking at a youth event, and it talked about God's covenant with Abraham, and how a covenant was a special relationship. In the story it touched on how a marriage is a covenant ~ a special relationship ~ and more than just a promise. I explained to the kids that Daddy and I have a covenant that we would always be married. ALWAYS. Emma spoke up and said "Even if you fight?"

"Yes, even if we fight"

Then came the statement "Well you've never had a fight about something"

Wrong. I explained that we had disagreed about things plenty of times. She was surprised.

"Well it must have been before I was born"

*snicker* yeah cause in the last 8 years there wasn't a single thing we disagreed on!

Oh honey! It was very eye opening to Emma, that even though her daddy and I had disagreed on several things in the last 10 years ~ including the years AFTER she was born, it didn't change the fact that we made a covenant to always be married. We would work through our disagreements (like when I tell them to 'work it out') and pray and ask for forgiveness of each other. It was such an eye opening conversation for her. She realized that yes, indeed her parents are sinners that don't always think the same thing! But she also saw, that despite the fact that we don't always agree on things, we would always be married.

We would always be together.

Even if we fight.

Never a good sign

2011-07-15T14:47:00.001-04:00

It's the day before Buddy's 5th birthday. I should be cooling the beginning of a Lightning McQueen cake.

I'm obviously not.

Why you ask? Ah simple. The pan holds 1-1/2 cake mixes. I the brilliant mom, only purchased one. ONE. I could have a cake with no wheels. That might not go over well.

Fine, I'll color the fondant while husband picks up the 2nd cake mix on his lunch break.

The store near him does not have said cake mix that I need (I refuse to mix flavors!).

I also discover that I do not have red food coloring to color the fondant.

Brilliant I tell you. So now husband will stop at another store on his way home to pick me up some red food coloring (Lightning McQueen must be red afterall). I will be heading to yet another store, to pick up the 2nd cake mix and some ice cream (ooo and I just remembered we need plastic forks & spoons!)

This does not give me high hopes in how this cake is going to turn out!

It's not that I don't want to write...

2011-07-14T21:38:00.001-04:00

I'm finding it hard to sit and write. Maybe it would help my heart? Not sure.

I miss Djemson and Sophia. I love seeing all that photos that friends, and mission teams are taking while they are in Haiti. I hate watching my kids grow up in pictures though. We are waiting on one piece of paper for our Dossier and then we are in the running around stage getting everything stamped and such. I called today to follow up on that one piece of paper ~ and the person insisted she sent it 'weeks ago', but it was only 2 weeks ago that we were there to see her. Funny, I think she never mailed it.

There has been such a giant gap here....
Lovergirl's birthday. She's 8. EIGHT I'm not so sure I'm ready for her to be 8. Nevermind when she said the other day "You know I'm almost 9" Yeah...YOU ARE NOT!

The end of preschool for buddy. My little guy who never spoke a word till he was 2-1/2 completed his first year of preschool and loved every day of it! He is looking forward to next year.

The end of the school year for Lovergirl ~ she's going into the 3rd grade! Please lets make time stop! She struggled so much on the last day of school. She just loved 2nd grade, her friends and teacher. When she got off that bus the last day she burst into tears.

The little princess is enjoying having her sister and brother around every day. She's trying new things, getting into loads of trouble, is completely potty trained (WOO HOO!!) and is looking forward to her first year of preschool in the fall.

And now we're in the groove of summer. Going to the beach with friends. Stopping at all sorts of playgrounds to just run and play. Library story hour and crafts. Riding our bikes, and family walks. I'm really soaking up this summer, as I feel like I completely missed last summer. I was still too much in recovery mode. We have hiking and camping, and picking berries on our list of summer fun. Here's hoping we have some blogging ideas from it all!

Dear Djemson.

2011-04-01T11:51:00.000-04:00

You are an amazing little boy. I loved you the moment I laid eyes on your picture. You have such an infectious smile. You love to laugh. You fell in love with your papa when we arrived in Haiti. You love the friends you have there. I adored hearing you yell to your friend Tomas....and hearing him yell back to you so you could find each other. The two of you switch plates half way thru a meal was just too funny to me. You would both have the same exact items on your plate, but for some reason it tasted better if you switched. I was so proud of you when you gave the rest of your eggs to Danny. You will share with the kids who don't have what you have. I love that about you.
I love that you found it necessary to put a juice box straw in your straw cup. And it worked!

My boy Djemson, I loved the passion in your eyes to learn about your fwem. How excited you were when you discovered we have our own machin. You loved have your foto taken with your fwem.

However, my boy Djemson. You gave your mama two white hairs. They were not there before my trip to meet you. It may have had something to do with you running up and down the rebar stairs. Or you hanging off the edge of the wall, or the roof. Maybe it was the jumping off the four foot wall. Either way my dear I will start coloring my hair. Your mama is far to young to have blan hair.

Love You
Mama

Happy Birthday Little Princess

2011-03-24T06:52:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Little Princess. Mommy and Daddy love you so much. We can't believe you are three! Time is flying by so fast. We love your antics, your animated smiles, and giggles. Your passion in everything you do! You are so anxious to start preschool in the fall, but could really do with out the whole using the potty aspect. You think you are funny when you wipe off kisses ~ but we know you just love the attention. :) Thank you for your early morning snuggles and letting me wrap you up like a baby once in a while.

We love you ~ Mommy and Daddy!

The perks of the flu

2011-03-10T17:40:00.000-05:00

This week our family has been hit with the flu. The test-you-with-a-nasal-swab, the-nurses-all-put-on-masks-every-time-they-enter-the-room-flu. The you-need-antiviral-meds-flu.

I'm tired.

I didn't even get the flu.

Everyone else did.

Three family members tested. Three positives. Hindsight if we had asked to have the 4th family member tested Sunday night I think we would have had a positive then.
Through all of the sitting up with kids at night in a steamy bathroom, dosing tylenol and motrin, soaking cloths in cold water for foreheads, washing laundry, and driving ALL.OVER. the area we live in to find the meds I have to say I'm thankful.

I'm thankful that I could find the last dose of tamiflu for the princess. I'm thankful that I drove by an Amato's and was able to grab some lunch. I'm thankful that we have quick cares and doctors that I can walk into and get care for my kids and husband. I'm thankful for gingerale and gatorade. And Lysol. Lysol is my friend. I am appreciating Nick Jr & the Disney Channel. We've watched a lot of that lately. LOTS and LOTS of TV.

Yes, there are dirty blankets that need to be washed. Yes there was poop on the couch (it's since been cleaned). Yes, the princess was coughing so hard, she choked and puked on me. THREE times. Yes, she even did that in her bed on a different night. So I changed her sheets THREE times. Yes, there is a plastic grocery bag in the middle of the living room for everyone to deposit their dirty tissues in. Frankly you can't even walk through the living room at this point with everyone sprawled all over the place. They even took to laying on the cooler floor to help with the fever.

What hit me the most though was looking at the calendar and realizing we're almost 1 year from my aneurysm. I'm NOT supposed to be here. At least by what the surgeon said. I'm so thankful that God's plan was so different. That even in the mess that this week has been (and it has completely turned my week upside down) I can see that God has a wonderful plan. I'm thankful to be here, to wipe noses, and eat toast all week. To stumble out of bed every hour at night because someone is fussing. To just be nurse mom.

Talking you off the ledge.

2011-03-04T14:37:00.001-05:00

Sometimes you need to just be talked off the ledge. I needed that this week. I needed someone to just listen. And understand what I'm saying. I got that this week from Mama H I've since set about to work on some fund raising things we needed to get done. Instead of looking at the big picture, I could break it down into steps. I could trust God with that big number. It really is out of my control. I can't let it haunt me. I can't let it dictate what I do. Realistically HAVING that money does NOTHING for me, if our Dossier isn't completed. I need to do the things I'm in control of. Thanks Mama H for our conversation this week. I really needed that.

We need the money.

2011-02-28T12:48:00.000-05:00

Yes, folks, that's right. We need the money. Another 8 thousand dollars. I feel like that is just staring me in the face constantly! So I've been trying some things out to see if I can help raise that amount. I know, I'm not going to make the full amount selling necklaces, bracelets and soaps. Oh how that would be oh.so.nice.

This is a memory-wire bracelet I made, and sold with in 1 day of posting on my facebook. One day! I love the fun colors of it, and will be making more (and definitely one for myself)

And then there is this one...2 strands of green, yellow, and white. So fun, and it makes me dream of summer! I'd like to make a bracelet to match.

And this beauty. AH. I love this! Aqua with green flecks, multi-strand. This took a lot more work then I anticipated, but I do love it!

All that to say ~ I'll be adding a store soon. VERY SOON. I need to get these all up and selling someplace. Having them hang on my bulletin board isn't getting me very far.

I've also made some soaps ~ and sold out of some very quickly. (YAY!) Love that. People have been giving me items that have been hand made to sell also, which I think is just wonderful.

All for bringing our kids home from Haiti.

Hello???

2011-02-14T08:30:00.000-05:00

Are you out there? I'm over here------------>. Buried underneath a pile of paperwork and there is a long list of papers I need to get. The Dossier is next up on the list. It's a process of finding paper, after paper, after paper. Everything needs to be 'just so'.

Plus there is a pile of stuff right here <---. Craft items for making various items to sell to raise money. We need another Eight thousand dollars (yes...8 THOUSAND). The timer doesn't start ticking until we get it and send it with our Dossier. Please pray that we can find/raise that money quickly.

What is your number?

2011-01-20T20:37:00.001-05:00

What is your number? That's a common question in this house. The kids are always confirming each others age. Sometimes they even ask us. What is your number? They find it funny that I'm older then their daddy.

Today we were on our way into town and buddy was in the back of the van and asked "Mommy what is your number again?"

"34"

"What four?"

"34"

"34?"

"Yes, buddy 34"

"I don't think so. Those aren't counting numbers"

Oh to be 4-1/2 and think that 20 was as high as the numbers go.

Headed to Haiti....

2011-01-11T20:38:00.000-05:00

The following are headed to Haiti with some fantastic friends of ours (who are going to visit their children that are waiting to come home!):

A large check to get the ball rolling
Power Of Attorney ~ so the pastor can sign on our behalf to adopt those beautiful children
Letter of Intent ~ just what it is...our letter of intent to adopt and make them part of our family

And two small but wonderful gifts. Laminated photo's of our family here for each of them. Something they can carry around and look at.

A blanket for each to snuggle with at night.


Djemson's blanket


Richarmie's blanket

While the blankets may not seem like a big deal to anyone...it's a big deal to us. Each of our children have received a homemade blanket when they were born. A blanket that was intended to be used for a long, long time. Buddy's has had to be sewn back together numerous times because he's used it every night for the last 4-1/2 years. (Still boggles my mind) While I know it's hot in Haiti, and they probably won't need to snuggle up under it, it is always nice to have something made by someone who just loves you.

Love at first sight

2010-12-23T15:59:00.000-05:00

Have you ever fallen in love with someone or something the moment you laid eyes on them? Ah....I have. I most certainly have. It is the love that keeps you up at night. That makes you wonder what exactly that other person is doing. What they are thinking. Are they warm? Did they have a great lunch? Do they even know who I am? Do they love me they way I love them? Will they even like us?

On December 12th we were shown a photo of two beautiful children. Two children who have been through more than any child should EVER have to go through. They lived through the earthquake in Haiti. Their parents did not. They arrived at an orphanage sometime in late March, early April from what I can piece together. What happened between the earthquake and their arrival I simply can not imagine.

This photo was shown to us

Are they not just so beautiful? I love that I see smiles on their faces. It does this mama's heart good. Their new mama. That's right. We're adopting. Not one, but two children. Siblings. Two beautiful children who clearly love each other. We've seen other photo's of them since that day. She almost always has her arms around her brother. She is quite protective of him I'm sure. And why wouldn't she? She is the big sister.

Our family prays for those children day and night. We wonder what they are doing. Are they have fun? Did they pay attention in school? Did they brush their teeth? Do they even know who we are yet?

This is an exciting journey we are embarking on. We are thrilled that God has placed them in our lives ~ even if we've never wrapped our arms around them. Yet. We are planning what we are bringing to Haiti with us in March for them. We will follow those children around and do all the things they want to do. We'll snuggle and love on them. We will hug them so tight. Join us on our journey of Bringing Djemson and Richarmie home.

Family meals are a myth

2010-12-09T09:54:00.001-05:00

I have become convinced that family meals with 3 kids that are RELAXED and we are ALL at the table are a myth. Something I can only hope to achieve. It does not matter how early I start, and what is on the table (or not) there is the constant up and down ~ mostly by mama. Please tell me you know what I'm talking about.
Enter the dining room with me.
The table is set. Every piece of silverware that anyone could possibly need is there with their plate or bowl. Sippy Cups or glasses are on the table and they contain the beverage choice of each individual. Milk, or water? Napkins are in each spot waiting for sticky messy cheeks and fingers. Dinner is on hot plates. These parents know that the little people do not like their food as hot as mama does so they dish theirs out first. THEN they are called to the table while cutting items into bite size pieces. Strike! That child didn't want their noodles cut. The parent apologizes but says that they still need to eat the item. After all it does taste the same. Everyone sits in their seats and the shoveling of food begins. Another child requests some ketchup for dipping. Not a problem. BBQ sauce just doesn't suit their tastes. The ketchup is retrieved. The child insists on squeezing out some. While that is happening under the direct supervision of one of the parents another child declares mustard is needed as they are on their way to the fridge! ESCAPE! A child has escaped from the table. One parent must quickly retrieve that child from the vortex of the refrigerator! There is too much going on in there and they could be sucked in permanently! This child does not like to be retrieved and is protesting! Oh there is a stray squirt of ketchup! More napkins please! WE NEED MORE NAPKINS! WHERE ARE ALL THE NAPKINS????
Being that these parents have run this race before they can grab the child from the vortex and search for more napkins! THE CROWD CHEERS!
Everyone is safely returned to their seats to find the first child who protested cut noodles is done eating. They would like seconds. Second are dished out. The parent who likes their food hot is beginning to realize that they indeed may be eating another 'warmish' meal tonight. Children are eating. Dinner is dished out to both parents. The parents sit. "I need more water" "Can I have more mustard?" "My peas won't stay still" "I need a different spoon" "I NEED MORE NAPKINS" The parent who prefers piping hot food and is probably getting a cold meal gets up from the table to retrieve more napkins, water and a different spoon. The other parent squirts more mustard (much to his dismay) and re-corrals the peas. There is an instant meltdown because the mustard has just touched the peas. Huge-flood-like tears are marching down the cheeks of a child. The child is no longer hungry and needs to get down. The first child is full and the last one at the table is done because, well, everyone else is.
The parents settle down into their seats with slightly warm food and begin to eat. A sigh is heard from the far end of the table. Yes A relaxed family meal will happen...someday. For now this family is just enjoying the chaos that happens with little children at meals.

Free Cards?

2010-12-05T15:35:00.001-05:00

Shutterfly has always been our go to picture developing choice. I despise when I have to use the store in the next town over. The quality does not even compete! In past years we've put together calendars for family members for Christmas gifts. It's a simple way to give something practical, but yet at the same time personal. Last year I spent some time organizing photos on a calendar for my mom. One that you could place multiple pictures on. Such a relief when grandchildren share a birthday month!
Now is the time to send out Christmas cards and I've been working on photos with the kids. My theory at their ages ~ if they are in the photo snap the picture! I want REAL! We snapped away this past Sunday and there are definitely things to work with. Each child's personality is showing. This Christmas' photo cards are especially important to me ~ after a brain aneurysm and SURVIVING I want to send out a photo as our card. Our family has been through so much this year and well we want to celebrate it!
Being the frugal mom that I am, there is ALWAYS the need to find a good deal when paying for anything. (Never pay full price!) Shutterfly is trying to help me do just that! I found a great promotion where I can earn 50 free Christmas cards and at Christmas when I'm trying to really be aware of how much we're spending. We have four pictures for our Christmas card this year.... I think this one would be nice. I can arrange the kids pictures on the right hand column. This card would most likely give me some creativity of where I put everyone! This one is pretty. This card may be one of my favorites ~ simply because of what is written on it Oh and then there is this one. That last one may be THE ONE. You know the one everyone opens at their mailbox. Then they all say "AWWWW"

What would you choose?

Back in the swing of it.

2010-11-29T15:51:00.001-05:00

We had an entire week off last week for a Thanksgiving break. A week off from school for Lovergirl....days off from preschool for Buddy. The princess (AKA Trible/Girlfriend) was loving having everyone home to play with and get into trouble with.

Today was a rude awakening. It was 20*, DC had to leave just after 7 and this house was in utter chaos. So much infact that the princess took lovergirl to the bus with no shoes on (we drive to the end of the road). Lovergirl had no mittens on so she took mine for the day. Buddy did not eat enough breakfast so he was more than hungry while waiting for the bus! For some reason after a break like that it's a rough start in this house!

I'm sure I can't be the only one!

"I should have missed this"

2010-11-05T05:49:00.000-04:00

I think of that often. I should have missed this. I'm so thankful for God's plan. I should have missed the first day of school for lovergirl and buddy. I should have missed all the soccer games, and practices. I wasn't supposed to be here for camping in the yard with the family. Running in a 5K should have never happened. But it did. Just like so many other things. I choke back tears time and time again. It doesn't have to be anything significant like celebrating birthdays, or holidays. It can be little things like seeing your kids hold hands or helping in a classroom. Many times it hits me in the face when I least expect it. Those are the times I probably need it the most. To remind me what could have been. Near death experiences make you appreciate everything so much more. Seeing the youngest wanting to wear her spiderwoman costume out to eat. Realizing in the grand scheme of it all its NOT a big deal. She's clothed, she's happy, she's not hurting anyone. The spraying of the hose on the house...I actually sit back and laugh at it now instead of running outside insisting the kids shut it off. Are the windows closed? Yes. Is it hurting anyone? No. Keep spraying (and don't ride your bikes near her when she's spraying). Being sneezed on and coughed on. Finding a little girl who insists on taking everything off in order to falls asleep to only redress her at 9 pm when she's half asleep. Watching the oldest get off the bus and wander down the road trying to step on as many leaves as possible. In a brief moment all of that should have been taken away. I could have missed all of this. I'm so glad I haven't.

The inconvenient night?

2010-09-28T20:19:00.000-04:00

Last night was a night I wasn't really looking forward to. Well I was...but yet I wasn't. It really was to me an inconvenient night. It rained so I choose to not head to soccer practice. I REALLY wanted to go to Chili's for the St Judes fundraiser...but did I? It meant packing up 3 kids and driving 35 min into town. Managing 3 kids at a restaurant ALONE while husband drove there from work (which was another 30 min NORTH of where we were). Antics with 3 kids while waiting for food? AH so inconvenient.

How very selfish of me. I came to that conclusion when thinking of my friend Dawn and her family doing the very same thing...coloring peppers in the restaurant, ordering some yummys...but the big difference? She was missing her hero. Her son died of cancer. UGH. How many times did she or her husband have to go places and manage the kids alone because the other was in the hospital with Bub? How many times did she wish they could even go out to eat? How many meals did she eat on the run? Or did they eat alone? How could I complain about an inconvenience of one night? I had ALL my children with me and healthy!

Yes I had a bill of over $50 for dinner. Yes, I listened to kids fuss on the way home. Yes, they were jumping in the booth and peeking at other people.
I gained perspective though. My children learned that not all kids are healthy and able to go to soccer, and dance like they do. Or even go out to dinner like they can. I learned to be grateful for what I have around me. To think of others and the paths they have walked.

It surely can not be labeled an inconvenient night.

I've come to realize

2010-09-24T21:13:00.000-04:00

I've come to realize I have a HUGE problem with jealousy. UGH. Lots of repenting that needs to happen. Jealousy of friendships that I wish I had (that I don't). Jealousy of freedoms that are just not in my life right now. Jealousy of the ability to spend some money ~ that we clearly do not have. It's all pretty selfish and truthfully some of the things I'm wishing I had probably have a TON do with the selfishness. It could be everything to do with it.

I often wonder if there are expectations about me that aren't true ~ but I need to stop putting what I think someone may be thinking on someone else and just think what I think. Not what I think someone else things. I mean really do I have that much time to think about what someone else thinks? Thinking that answer should be no.

It also comes down to accepting that I am who God made me. I may never be that persons best buddy. Yeah, it'd be great, but in reality I need to be me...what God has for me. And not try to be what I think (again thinking) someone else wants me to be ~ unless that someone else is God.
He has a perfect plan for my life...one that did include a lot of stuff I'd rather not have dealt with over my 30+ years. It is what makes me well me. It gives me a different perspective. A sometimes odd opinion. Just because it's my opinion doesn't make it the only way. It is definitely based on experience, perspective, and where I am in my relationship with Jesus. The last part being the most important ~ that relationship with Jesus.

Mom Olympics

2010-09-13T14:07:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I wish I could enter a mom Olympics contest. Mom's are great a so many things but there are rarely gold medals. I could place in "nursing a baby & making a sandwich". Imagine that contest as moms are feeding their new bundle while flipping a grilled cheese or two. Re-swaddling in the dark. Now there is a great one.
Burping the baby. Eh...not so great. My husband would be spectacular at that. I have pictures of him burping Lovergirl when she was just a day or two old and his hand looks gigantic holding her up. He could always get that last burp out of the kids.

My latest sport in mom Olympics would be 'redressing a toddler in the dark 2 hours after you have fallen asleep....' Oh yes...picture it now. You have been asleep for 2 hours and crying wakes you from the other room. You stumble out of your bed not reaching for the light. The night light in the bathroom guides you to the child's bedroom. You must quickly feel around in the bed to find the child who is crying JUST a bit louder. Your goal is to redress the child in a sleeper with out waking anyone else up. Once the child is found (because really...which toddler stays head on pillow, body down from there) find pajamas that are on by only one leg...which is on the WRONG leg. Place shivering arms in the sleeper all while 'sshhhhing' to help the child calm down. Take leg off wrong leg and straighten pjs out. Place the shivering legs in the correct wholes and find zipper. ZIPPPPP with out zipping any shivering body parts ~ belies getting zipped in sleepers makes for screaming. SHHHHHH child again and re-cover with blankets.

Stumble back into bed and lay their wide awake. A major victory has happened. No one else woke up and you accomplished this in a pitch dark room. You can now lay awake for the next 45 minutes and try to get back to sleep.

Thank goodness for sunglasses

2010-08-30T08:38:00.002-04:00

Thank goodness for sunglasses. I needed mine this morning as that sweet girl who saved my life got on that big yellow bus for her first day of 2nd grade. Maybe it was the hub-bub of getting everyone ready to walk to the bus stop. Or the fact that she and our neighbor looked great dressed for the 1st day of school ~ and had each grown a ton! It could have been that I'm pretty sure I failed school supply list 101 and sent the wrong item with her and have yet to purchase the item I think the teacher was talking about. It might have been her cute Justice shirt, hot pink converse sneakers and brightly colored socks that made my eyes form tears from their brightness. Of course there was when the bus driver gave out her seat assignment at the back of the bus! She's still my baby! She goes up front right?

Where are these tears coming from?

It might simply have been the fact that she's growing up...and she IS the girl who saved my life. She's smart, funny, and would do anything for anyone. She will do GREAT in 2nd grade. For today though I'm going to be wearing my sunglasses.

Art Show

2010-08-13T20:12:00.004-04:00

I like displaying the kids artwork in the house but the fridge can become a bit cluttered with all the paintings, drawings and more. I saw on a blog or something somewhere about using old picture frames and binder clips to hang and display artwork.

There is a deer in the house

2010-08-02T08:25:00.003-04:00

An unexpected break

2010-07-23T14:52:00.003-04:00

I've been on an unexpected break. I wasn't planning it. Just sort of happened. The last post was such a milestone I just didn't know where to go from there. I realize there are lots of things still spinning around in my head, that I need to get back to and write down. I'm also realizing that life with a daddy gone 12 hours a day almost every day is HARD. Some days it's 14-15 hours. And when this mama has quiet she wants to sleep. There are still 'aftershocks' of an aneurysm (I like that term someone called them) that we deal with. Tiredness is one that will be there until at least next March, if not much, much longer. Yes, I need to nap every day. Some nights I fall into bed as SOON as husband gets home from work. I must or I might combust. There are still blood clots in my eyes...one in my right eye that has been driving me nuts. It's not large by any means, but every time I move my eye it moves...so it's like a little ant marching back and forth all over the place. Annoying? I think so.
The other thing is parenting for that many hours straight with 3 little kids who need some structure and need their daddy is more difficult than I ever imagined. Naughtiness has reared it's ugly head simply because daddy isn't home, and they don't like it one bit. They can wear a mama down now by hour 12 quite quickly. It doesn't mean their behavior is acceptable by any means. Somedays I'm more of the mean cranky mom than I want to be.

My plan is to get back at this though. More pictures, more fun, more life from this crazy corner we call home.

Free

2010-06-14T05:07:00.002-04:00

Friday marked freedom for me. Freedom from the therapy schedule. We discharged on Friday!! Freedom to drive! Yesterday I went to the grocery store. ALONE. Quiet ride. No one bugging me about this cereal or that ice cream. I even took my blood pressure just to see how it was doing groceries alone 124/68!

Now that there is this freedom I'm realizing though there are thoughts that I need to blog about:

That last surgery and how those two nights in the hospital went.
The appointment with the eye surgeon and his disappointment
How I watch my family do something fun and think of what it would have been like with out me here.
The gratefulness I feel when I would watch someone be wheeled into therapy who had the same brain aneurysm as me one month before me. How I would fight back the tears each week. I walked into that room and then I was going home at the end of the day.

Yesterday was our 3 month post aneurysm celebration. The kids didn't know why they all got a lobster and I got to munch all the parts they for whatever reason didn't eat (who leaves an entire tail?)

As part of recovery husband and I are starting a new work out. The weather may not cooperate this week, but we'll still going to do it. The Couch 2 5k. After everything my body has been thru I KNOW it's capable of doing this!

So far....

2010-05-19T20:34:00.002-04:00

Things have changed in the last 2 months:

Two seeing eyes! 20/20 in one, 20/25 in the other! The 2nd one even had a torn retna!

Lifting weights at PT to get some strength back

Increasing 500 ft in an 6 min walk

Having normal blood pressure readings

Getting told I have an 'all clear' to drive in 3 weeks!

Going back to Lovergirls classroom to volunteer!

Being able to cook, clean, carry laundry and more

Getting the rest of my head bone back on Friday ~ praying it's the last surgery to happen!

Getting Ready

2010-04-24T06:12:00.002-04:00

This weekend we are gearing up for surgery on Monday morning. This will be the second eye surgery and we are praying that on Tuesday morning when they take off the bandage I'll have 2 working eyes! With that though comes a list of things I can't do. The tell them in a 3 little rules:
1. no laying flat. You must be elevated at all times when laying down
2. no bending over. So if there is something on the floor you need I've got to either scootch down...OR ask someone else to get it
3. no lifting ANYTHING heavy.

There is another that I don't like...no laying on my side. I sleep terrible that way on my back elevated so strike one...mama is a little on edge.

At first glance one thinks 'oh not so hard'.

I disagree.

In order to relax on the couch the said patient carries her 3 pillows downstairs to prop herself up. To go to bed, she carries them all back up.

She goes to get her socks on and accidently drops one on the floor. How to scoop it up...how to get that sock? Pour yourself some gingerale and your 2 year old throws her arms up in the air and says "I want to hold you" (meaning please hold me). No bending to get anything in or out of the oven. No unloading the dishwasher. No emptying the dryer. The list could go on and on!

There are some things that can be down now to help with this ~ like this weekend we'll do ALL the laundry get it folded and put away. We'll bring up more paper plates, and cups. Yes, somewhere there will be a landfill with our name on it, but really I'd rather see!
So this weekend we'll spend it getting ready for this surgery and recovery. Groceries, laundry, and more!

Not taking any chances

2010-04-21T19:24:00.002-04:00

My body has been in overdrive. In the last three weeks in this house alone there has been strep, 2 seperate ear infections and a bronchial infection. There are four other people and each one had something of the above. SERIOUSLY! Somehow the first 2 weeks of being home all of it was avoided. Also the fact that when any doctor heard what I had been thru instantly put the sick person on antibiotics so to help get rid of it.

Until this week. Monday afternoon it was like someone flipped a switch inside me. I started to feel awful. Then the sneezing. (Also let me add when you sneeze and you are missing part of your skull...OUCH) By Tuesday morning I had been thru an entire box of tissues! A friend stopped with me at a health food store on the way home from therapy to get me some immune booster.
By last night though I just wanted to crawl into bed. Just before I did I took my temp and I had a low grade fever ~ which would have been higher but I had been taking Tylenol every four hours. That right there just won me a trip to see my doctor today.

Who was out of town.

The person who was covering for him was super nice though. She reviewed some things with me and decided that even though there was no fluid in my ears, negative on strep I still had swollen glands and was clearly fighting something that I too was getting an antibiotic. She simply said "I'm not taking any chances with you." I have surgery on Monday and there is always the possibility that I have picked up and been carrying around some awful bug from the hospital and she'd like to zap anything she can.

We got instructions if I wasn't better by Friday as to what I should do (cancel Mondays surgery and get myself back in there) but she was thinking by Friday morning we should see a huge improvement.
Here's hoping!

On the news....

2010-04-18T19:46:00.001-04:00

Yes...my girl is on the news...

Re-wiring

2010-04-18T04:32:00.005-04:00

This week was more work on re-wiring my brain. Let me just say some days are MUCH harder than others. Friday seemed to be one of those days. My Speech Therapist gave me a test on figuring out some Math word problems. Ok for the record in school HATED them. I don't know why just not my fave. Now while I didn't get all sweaty and panic when she gave this to me, I wasn't much impressed. The first one wasn't all that hard. Adding up 3 sets of numbers. Yes, my work was 'shown' on the paper b/c there was NO way I could even attempt to do it my head! LOL! I couldn't keep subtracting 6 starting with 100 for the resident in my head! I would draw it in the air!
The next problem was multiplication...2 digits x's 2 digits. hrm no problem.

Or so I thought.

I forgot how to multiply! Um seriously NOT the short term memory but it was GONE. I sat there and thought "what do I do with this number?" (15 x .69) I thought and thought and really was coming up with nothing. Crud question 2!
At that point though for whatever reason some of the Everyday Math skills we had been taught at a parent conference came to me and I could figure out the answer. Which then in turn helped me remember how to actually multiply these 2 digit numbers. When my therapist came back to the table she looked at my paper and I told her what had happened. First she was impressed that I had not given up or gotten frustrated AND I did remember a way to figure it out. Rewiring that brain!
She then said "Don't you have a calculator on your cell phone?" AHHH! Yes! So we got it out and found it, and used it for the rest of the problems. She reminded me "Use the tools you have...this is a tool you have"

Crazy Eyes....

2010-04-12T15:01:00.004-04:00

Soon there will be a picture here....but I must say even looking in the mirror is a bit odd. (It also shows I need an eyebrow wax!) Every so many hours D puts drops in my eye that has been operated on. And it dilates....and it's VERY noticeable. Not only to people who look at me, but also looking it out of it! After first putting them in at breakfast (first dose time) I can barely see anything close up...everything gets so blury. Now granted its only one eye but the other one still hasn't been operated on so it's like someone stretched a cottonball out and put it over my eye! Tomorrow I meet with the eye surgeon again and I'm SOOOO hoping he tells me no more eye drops...so I can see out of it again.

How life changes in an instant

2010-04-10T14:38:00.003-04:00

I've started writing this post in my mind numerous times and honestly I don't always know where to start. For those who read this blog, but yet have no other connection with me I shouldn't statiscally speaking be here. On March 13th in the evening, home alone with 3 kids, I had a brain anuerysm. So much in fact that the nuerosurgeon, the nurses and more told my husband I would not make it thru surgery. I made it.
I would not make it thru the night. I made it.
I would not make it thru the next day. I made it.

And then I started fighting more....pulling the breathing tubes out (which they eventually just removed), sitting up and talking.

God does amazing things and for me he protected me more than I could have ever imagined. I was out of my coma by Monday...when it should have been 3+ weeks. I was walking around the hospital a week and a half later. They told my husband they'd have to teach me to write & eat with my left hand....I'm eating & writing just fine with my right hand. Just over 2 weeks later much to a very confused dr they discharged me from the hospital and now I'm home with the family. Loving on my children again and regaining strength. I still need naps during the day, but not all day. I still wake up at night....but now it's usually only at 4 am. I even helped make something yesterday and this morning for breakfast!
There are still hurdles ahead. My blood pressure is still not where it should be, so I'm working with my PCP on that. When I was discharged I was labeled legally blind. I had/have so much blood clots my eye surgeon was shocked. When he took the bandage off after my first eye surgery I cried....because I could see for the first time in weeks. And I mean see....like read a book to my children. I have one more eye surgery to go on the opposite eye. I have three therapists working with me a 2-3 times a week to help with everything from getting my strength & stamina back (I have no upper body strength at all) to getting my confidence back in being the mommy & wife & homemaker, to trying to re-wire my short term memory that in many cases is shot.
And then of course there is the piece of bone that is no longer in my head that is frozen at the hospital and they will put it back in. (Yes that does seem weird to me)
Literally this life has changed so fast....there are so many things I can't do...like driving, or reading, or even watching the TV! But it also cements in my heart and mind how much God has a plan for my life....something bigger and better that involves Him. Sharing Him with others that I come in contact with. The other parents in the neighborhood....the teachers at school...the drs who are so confused.
So for a while you'll have to read this as a journal as life returns to a new 'normal'....

My friend Supermommy

2010-03-05T19:13:00.005-05:00

See there down in the corner...under followers? That's Supermommy. Dawn. Doesn't she look great in that black dress? I remember when she posted that picture...how excited she was.
I could tell you stories about her, and her family. Her husband Stu that she simply adores. Her love for him, and her being deliberate in carving out time for the two of them has had a huge impact on me. Her son Sammy who gave her the name Supermommy and his antics of just being a boy. We shared a lot of stories back and forth over the past few years of boys being boys and raising them.
She also has an amazing love for Jesus and she just loved sharing that with people. She embraced her Jewish traditions all while knowing that Jesus is the Messiah.

Tonight she is with Him...

That breaks my heart.

Dawn lost her battle with cancer, but has her healed body in heaven. She's not in pain any longer. She's holding the babies she lost. She's dancing I just know. Here though in this world she left behind a husband, a son, parents and a brother. A husband who just did not want to see her go. A son who is so, so young to lose a mom. I think of Sammy and I just keep praying for him over and over again. She would walk him to school and back each day. She was so proud of his accomplishments in school and was his biggest cheerleader.

The thing is though, I've never met Dawn in person even though she has been a part of my life though for three and a half years. We've been on forums together, and talked on various messengers...sometimes just by typing...sometimes she'd turn her camera on. I always liked it when she turned her camera on. I loved her smile. It seems odd at first to mourn a person I've never met. I can say though that I love her like she had been sitting in my living room drinking a coffee out of one of my mugs.
So tonight there are over 100 women from all over the world who have been joined together by motherhood praying for a family they've never met. Praying for a son that is not theirs. Mourning a friend they had never met face to face.

Now to grab some chocolate, a cup of coffee and pray for Stu and Sammy...the things that Dawn loved.

Only A Boy

2010-03-01T13:03:00.002-05:00

Daddy; "Buddy lets put clean underpants on these are a little damp"
Buddy: "Yeah, when I went potty I got some on my underpants.

And the floor.

And my face"

AHHHHHHH Only A Boy!

Laundry, laundry, every where

2010-02-24T19:42:00.002-05:00

Lately it seems like I just can not stay up on our laundry. Try as I may it's just not happening. Truthfully though it's been that way for almost 2 years. TWO YEARS! Yes...when little Trible became part of our family little did I know that my days of staying on top of laundry and *gasp* having it ALL done (washed, dried, folded & put away) except for what we were currently wearing were over. One little person just threw it out the window. There were the days when it was just DC and I. I did laundry once a week because I felt like I *should* I mean really...it shouldn't sit THAT long should it? And then came Lovergirl...and once week was a necessity. There was the odd week that it would have to be done twice in a week, but it was rare. When Buddy came along I was on an every 3 days cycle. But it was happening, I'd have days where I never went to the washing machine and that was good.

Now....that's not the case. There is ALWAYS a hamper full of dirty laundry. There is ALWAYS a load to be washed, or dried or folded. My kids don't change their clothes half way thru the day. Somedays one little girl wears her leotard ALL.DAY.LONG. Towels are used for a few days. I've tried all the *tricks* I've heard in order to cut back on laundry...but it's just not happening. Little Trible brought with her apparently a never ending pile of dirty clothes (she is by far the messiest toddler!)

Don't read this as a complaint. I'm blessed to have a full-size washer and dryer IN my home to use. We've lived in a house with only room for a washer (miserable six months!) and we've shared laundry. I'm thankful for little people who spill yogurt down the front of their shirts. Or the fact that my husband has the greasiest clothes I've ever seen. I have 3 great kids and a husband who works hard. I just wonder if I'll ever get lost in that growing mountain!

ewww.....

2010-02-19T15:34:00.002-05:00

can I get a collective ewww?

Day 6

2010-02-18T20:51:00.002-05:00

Today was day six of 'shredding' as my kids call it. They know when they get up in the morning and the exercise mat is still on the floor that I was exercising. Lovergirl will even ask "were you shredding last night?" I sure hope so!

So I skipped one night this week. Tues night I think? Mon night I fit in my workout before someone came over and grabbed my laptop to work on it for me. I really, REALLY did not want to be doing jumping jacks when he drove in our driveway. I managed to get it in...and then DC, K and I stayed up until almost midnight chatting! AH! It was great to catch up and laugh but oh my! The kids could care less that mama stayed up until midnight the night before. So Tues night I was wiped. Last night though I pushed myself to make sure I got in a great work out. It was painfully obvious that happened as today I could barely get up and down the stairs. Oh my aching thighs! LOL! Not to mention the 24 lb toddler I was carrying around!
Tonight I went a *little* easier on myself and didn't get parallel to the ground on certain exercises. Frankly because I have to work tomorrow and I'd like to be able to get up the stairs at church!

Now in the past I'd view the one night I skipped as failure and think I'd need to start all over again. And then I'd skip the rest of the week because really who starts something on a Wednesday? Ah that is behind me. Every day is a new day and I can just pick up where I left off. One night out of six is actually really good!

No Speech

2010-02-16T09:51:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was Buddy's evaluation at a speech therapy center. One that is known and respected so I trusted instantly what the outcome would be. We were expecting him to either walk in, fall on the ground and not say a word. Or....talk. Non-stop. He talked. NON-Stop. As an added bonus the evaluator was able to evaluate him. Something no one else has EVER been able to do because he'll usually stop talking. His understanding of language is that of an almost 5 year old (it's always been ahead). His expressionary language was almost a typical 3-1/2 year old. There were some bumps along the way and she did not reach the ceiling like she normally would push in an evaluation as she could see clearly see his frustration level and didn't want to push him to the breaking point and then lose him completely. Then we moved onto him identifying items so she could check for letter sounds, enunciation, etc. He did well. So well in fact that all of the things he failed on this particular test a year ago were gone. She was thrilled because honestly he's only been talking for 18 months. She understood about 70% of what he said, and while that number should be 80% she really felt with the continued support at home those things will work themselves out.
And so I'm back to being his full-time therapy person. Correcting 'bl' where just a 'b' should be or 'br' should be. Slowing him down a bit. I've seen changes in him in the last few weeks though. For instance when he gets frustrated instead of melting down into a puddle of tears he took a deep breath calmed his voice and then stated to me what he wanted. HUGE. For him that's HUGE.
Where does it leave us though? Well now we've got to organize a play group for him. One where he can build friendships/relationships with kids his age. Preferably kiddos with out speech problems as he'll easily fall into those. It means making sure we're getting to the Rec Center once to twice a week to get him in an unfamiliar environment and functioning. I need to get a card in his bag for church that whoever is with him can state how much he talked, and what percentage of it they understood and if there were significant errors that they noticed. And finally it means starting to look for a preschool for him for fall. Some place structured that isn't going to let him 'run' the show.
I do have to say she was extremely impressed with how much of an advocate we had been for him. How much research we had done, where we had been and how far we had pushed. She said some parents come in and she wants to say to them "Where have you been and what have you been doing?" So we continue to work...continue to push for answers.

Day 2 ~ Shred.

2010-02-14T21:31:00.000-05:00

One Word:

OUCH

Day 1 ~ Shred

2010-02-13T20:59:00.003-05:00

Last year I started working out with Jillian Michael's 30-day shred along with working through Setting Captives Free ~ The Lord's Table. In that time I lost 20lbs. Ahhh.. 20 lbs that I never want to see again. Both of the those things were very eye opening. What I'm capable of doing in a hard workout and WHY I was shoving food into my mouth. UGH!

I'm thankful that I still recognize that I'm full and so I don't eat. That I can enjoy an evening and not just sit on the couch and munch. That lunch can be 1 egg roll and I'm full and stop.

However, the work out has slacked lately. Life has just been in the way.

So today marks day 1 of my new 30-day shred. I have no idea my weight (we don't own a scale!), but I know I'd like to drop another clothing size! The plan is to do level 1 for 10 days, level 2 for 10 days and then level 3 for 10 days. It's a 20 minute work out so surely I can fit it in. I think that has been my problem lately...I could find time for so many other things, but couldn't fit in a 20 minute workout? L-A-Z-Y!
I'm hoping to blog about it as I go along.

Tonight's workout was a little rough ~ getting back into it. Hoping I can move in the morning! It'll be worth it though for a new me.

Adventures in Potty Training

2010-02-08T13:58:00.003-05:00

I think we've had an 'aha' moment with Buddy. He does much better if he's not wearing pants. *sigh* So yes my cute stick like little boy runs around in his sweatshirt, t-shirt, underpants, socks & sneakers. It really is a sight. However, it seems to be doing the trick. (Thank you to my new friend Renee for the confirmation of trying this!) He doesn't ALWAYS tell us with time to get him to the potty, but he knows he doesn't like it running down his legs. The minute you put pants on him though he could play for hours and be wet. YUCK. He's also learning that this mama just KNOWS when he does need to go. How? Ah well thats when he yells louder and more often from the bathroom "I no like to P on the potty" and to which I reply with "I no like to change your diaper so go P on the potty" Today is week 4 (I think) and it's really been significantly better.

Trible on the other hand will stay dry ALL morning and not even be aware that she is P'ing. So we're using more cloth diapers with her to help her 'figure it out'. If she says she needs to go we try, but so far she just likes the idea of sitting near her brother.

So while I'm not completely confined to the house for the next six months I do have to plan going places very carefully. Buddy REALLY wanted to bring his own potty seat to church with him this past week ~ and we may just do that this week. Hopefully by then he'll be wearing pants *wink*

I'm probably losing my mind....

2010-02-03T06:28:00.002-05:00

....but I think I'm going to go buy some underpants for little Trible. She sits on the potty seat with her diaper on and says "potty" and fills her pants. Whats the worse thing that could happen? She'll grow up before my eyes? Don't say wiping up wet spots because we're already doing that. Can I even find them for her tiny body. Not to mention how will we keep her pants up now that there is no big pouffy cloth diaper? Ah...this should be fun :-/

When you were alive....

2010-01-25T18:57:00.003-05:00

Tonight Lovergirl finished reading a book out of the Clemintine series (oh so funny! We just love these). Then she looked me square in the eye and said:
"Mommy did you read the Clemintine books when you were alive?"

"Honey I AM alive"

"Oh yeah...I mean when you were little"

Completely Done

2010-01-24T19:45:00.004-05:00

What reason have I to doubt
Why would I dwell in fear
When all I have known is grace
My future in Christ is clear

My sins have been paid in full
There's no condemnation here
I live in the good of this
My Father has brought me near
I'm leaving my fears behind me now

Chorus:
The old has gone, the new has come
What You complete is completely done
We're heirs with Christ, the victory won
What You complete is completely done

I don't know what lies ahead
What if I fail again
You are my confidence
You'll keep me to the end
I'm leaving my fears behind me now

by Jonathan Baird, Ryan Baird, and Rich Gunderlock

Goodbye Diapers...hello potty

2010-01-20T14:42:00.003-05:00

For the 4th time I gave potty training a try with Buddy. In the past we've tried briefly for one morning (2 hours) and well it has been obvious that he wasn't getting it...back to diapers we'd go. Well I'm tired of washing cloth diapers and forking over $$ to my disposable diaper comany of choice (although I will admit to loving the smell of a freshly opened package of Pampers...AHHH). ANYWAY with 2 little people in diapers it gets kinda pricey. We use cloth quite often...probably not enough, but they are in the house.

Back just before Christmas I thought 'we' were ready....but the day that was declared 'no more diapers' Buddy woke up with a fever. Really...I'll pick my battles...that was NOT the day to attempt it.
This past Monday was the day that there would be no more diapers (truthfully there were four left, but I snuck them out of his room and he never knew). We woke up Mon morning to find that some little boy had hidden ALL the under pants. REALLY. I'm SERIOUS! Now mind you this mama is smart so she found them. It didn't go well. We went thru a LOT of wet clothes that day. Tues I'll be honest was no better. This morning...AHHHHH...more wet clothes. For the love of all that is good and sacred how hard can it be????

Hard...hard for a kid whose senses aren't always organized like the rest of us. Hard for a kid who HATES being the center of attention and can't function when he is. HARD.
So I left him with daddy this morning and after getting him out of his wet clothes I put a cloth diaper on him. I simply said "I'm not buying you any more diapers...but until you decide to use the potty you can wear this" and left it at that. We then reviewed potty safety (no you won't fall in), where it all goes (down, down, down) and more. And then I left the house. With Miss Trible. Who announced quite loudly this morning while in Target "Mommy I POOOOO" THANK YOU. I begin to think I'm training the wrong child. *sigh*

However, when I got home Buddy had announced "Daddy, I need to potty" It took him 45 min but after flipping thru the Jo-Ann fabrics catalog he P'd in the potty! WOO HOO! High Five! Till we flushed it...and then he cried (not with him on it...I KNOW better than that!). He didn't want his P's to go away...well I'm not KEEPING them!

So goodbye diapers...at least for Buddy...I'm done with you. Yes, we have a long road ahead of us...lots of days of working on this...but we're getting there.

Next up I think will be Miss Trible...exactly what will we do with all that extra $$ each month?

$4.37

2010-01-05T18:48:00.003-05:00

Last Mon (12/28) I took the littlest person in this house to the ER. Trust me...not my first choice of things to be doing in a snow storm...but necessary. We had been to her peds that morning and she was dx'd with an ear infection. That afternoon she woke up barking like a seal and struggling with her breathing. After a call to the peds office we were directed to the ER for an evaluation and breathing treatment. Fun times I tell you driving into the hospital in a snow storm with a small child who is barking and struggling to breath but we made it in. Now first off...our hospital is rated as 'one of the best' (or so says their advertising). We've always had great nurses, doctors, etc while we've been there. There is a children's hospital that I had the privilege of staying at for 8 days with buddy...I delivered all three of our children there. We've also had our fair share of ER visits. This ER visit was in their new peds ER...very kid friendly...
Now while we were there I asked the resident if I could give her some Tylenol...she had a fever and I knew she was due for some...sure she said...and then replied..."actually let me order some for you rather than use your own...save it for later" Sure why not? I mean I'm IN THE ER! It came at just about the same time steroid did and we got those into her and we were sent home.

Today I got the bill in the mail....well the one that gets sent to the insurance company that details the description of services:

E&M Lvl 3 Attn/Res/Gc $155.50 ~ this is for the 2 docs that evaluated her
Emergency facility Level 2 $166.00 ~ this is for our nice room that we played in for about 2 hours across from the nurses station (apparently toddlers who struggle with breathing get to be close by)
Dexameth Inj 1mg Qty 10 $0.70 ~ this is for the steroid...mixed with apple juice (I assume the juice was complimentary since they didn't list it)
Acetamin Drops 100 mg/ml 15 ml $4.37 ~ this is for the dose of generic Tylenol.

$4.37 for ONE dose of generic Tylenol. ONE DOSE! For that price I can go BUY an entire bottle of generic Tylenol...possibly even NAME brand if I found a coupon!

Does anyone else see a problem with this?

Living Naturally in an Unnatural World

2010-01-01T20:06:00.003-05:00

As time goes on in this little family I'm finding it more and more difficult to live naturally in this unnatural world. We've recently made some changes in our lifestyle, in how we eat as we've read more and more about the dangers in our food. I've thrown out pans...banned microwave popcorn...given away almost ALL our canned foods and more. Yes that means I make my own evaporated milk for recipes. I don't buy that red & white label soup...I make my own stock now and have it frozen to make soup from scratch. (Thanks Mama H for the directions! I'm becoming a pro at it now!) Our latest change has been to switch to meat/chicken that is antibiotic free...yes that's more expensive...MUCH more expensive but worth it. It means I get more creative with what we do purchase...we stretch things by adding extra veggies.

How did we get to this point? Article after article after article...I realized after a while that I was bookmarking these things and the next thing I knew there was a whole pile of them and when I put them all together I realized I needed to make some changes....

This blog from seventh generation was one that I saved...it covered a variety of tops from BPA, to Mercury
Then there was this one from Consumer Reports that specifically addressed BPA in canned foods. AHHH! So much info...this is when the canned goods went. I still don't know what to do with my tuna fish...so it sits downstairs.

I also found this article interesting covering some foods that health experts won't eat...canned tomatoes being at the top of the list! WHY? BPA! AHHHH! It's everywhere and it's wreaking havoc on our bodies.

And just this week I read an article (that I can NOT find) about the antibiotics that are pumped into our cows, chickens & pigs to make them 'grow better & faster' to get to our table. Well no thank you! I'll take antibiotic free!

The list could go on and on...but I'll spare you the details (unless of course you want them...let me know)

So how do we do this? Well...we either do frozen or fresh fruits & veggies. I'd love to do strictly organic at this point and some day maybe my budget will allow ~ for now I am selective...things I can't wash/peel then we either do without or I will buy organic. We'll be doing more gardening this summer for sure...We don't have a TON of space, but I'm going to save up some $$ and get some extra pots so I can plant more tomatoes, peppers and such. There will be rows of peas and rows of green beans. I'll be canning my own fruits and veggies.... http://pickyourown.org is a great site for step by step directions for freezing, preserving and canning. I've switched to dried beans instead of canned...and actually a bag of dried black beans last me about 4 meals...where 1 can of black beans last well 1 meal! And the bag is cheaper. Yes I have to plan in advance...but it can be done :)
Hopefully in the new year I can blog more about all the little changes we've made here...from the homemade lozenges...to the GOOT my kids love when they aren't feeling so well. For now I encourage you to take a look at what you are putting in your mouth and where it REALLY came from and what is REALLY in it.

"Happy Mothers Day!"

2009-11-11T12:21:00.003-05:00

Buddy wished me a Happy Mothers Day yesterday as he came bearing this....

He wanted me to 'whooooo' it in the house (blow on it) but I convinced him a vase was a better idea. Pretty good for November in Maine.

Happy Mothers Day!

Tell the truth

2009-10-23T21:15:00.005-04:00

Buddy tonight sang his first ever made-up song. For a kid with selective mutism and a speech delay this is a HUGE deal. HUGE.
He had left his banana peel on the couch (!!!) and when I asked if it was his he said "no, it's ya-ya's" Well this mama knew it was not Trible's b/c of the fact that she didn't finish her banana and it was already in the kitchen! So of course I quickly said "no, that is not hers, this is yours isn't it?" "welllllll yes, that is Buddy's"
"You need to tell the truth the first time ~ not when mommy catches you"

and so into the kitchen he goes holding his banana peel to throw into the trash singing the following song:

"Tell the truth, Tell the truth. No I won't"

Gunkey

2009-10-15T05:57:00.003-04:00

Little Trible has been taught a song by her older siblings. We rented Madagascar and they watched every day for the five days we had it. So I present to you their new version of Happy Birthday sung last evening by Daddy and Trible.

I wish....

2009-10-04T05:05:00.003-04:00

I know I haven't been here in a while. Life happens and I'm in the trenches of parenting. Somedays it's harder than others.

I've been struck lately as I hear parents start of sentences with "I wish". You know "I wish the baby would sleep thru the night" or "I can't wait for the baby to start solids"
"I wish she were old enough/big enough so I could turn her around in her car seat"
"I wish he would feed himself"
"I wish he wouldn't make such a mess feeding himself" (funny how one wish brings another)
"I wish I could walk across the floor and not step on a car/doll/book/train/insert toy here"
"I wish he wouldn't use chalk on the door"
"I wish they could buckle themselves"
"I wish that tooth would just pop in"

The list could go on and on. Funny thing happens though ~ all those wishes will come true. And then you realize that time does not stand still. Your kids do grow up. Faster than you think. My wish is that I could stop time. That is my wish.
Seeing as I don't have that super-power I choose not to wish.
I'm thankful for chalk on the door and cheerios and fluffernutters on the floor. For skating across the kitchen floor on a random car and getting up at 3 am with a little girl who is teething and needs a snack. For changing diapers somedays all day. For a boy who needs his momma to 'sleep with' him at nap time so he stays in his bed. For doll clothes, and color books, and stickers and piles of school papers.
Some day there will not be a little person to decorate the door for fall with orange chalk. Or a snuggly little person in the wee hours of the morning. My son will think I'm weird for watching him sleep when he's a teenager. And homework papers will not be displayed proudly on the fridge.
No, for now I choose to enjoy stepping on day old cheerios or skating across the floor on a car. Someday it'll be gone and I'll be wishing it back.

The hardest job I've ever had.

2009-07-24T20:04:00.004-04:00

I think I've written this post in my mind about 824 different times in the last six years. I know I haven't been blogging that long, but really I've thought these things, experienced a day like today more than once. (Maybe not exactly 824 times ~ probably more)

I've had jobs I've loved. I've had jobs I've completely hated more than anything else. This parenting gig though has a love hate relationship. It's days like today being in the trenches that brings me on the verge of tears on the outside. On the inside I'm probably a train wreck. I love my children. I would do ANYTHING for them. I love when they listen, obey, tell the truth, have great attitudes, keep their pj's AND diapers on, are smiling, walk in the store ~ you get the idea.
The truth is though I've got 3 little people who don't do that all the time ~ and most likely they are ignoring me, being defiant, lying, having a bad attitude and n*ked all at the same time. (Yes there are only 3 of them). Now granted they aren't misbehaving all the time, but sometimes I'm convinced there is a conspiracy against me. *Aha...mama is near her breaking point!*

This week has been one of those particularly hard weeks. Reinforcing some rules and behaviors. Which means of course that the testing will be harder than it has been. Does she really mean business?
Yes. Yes I do.

And yes it's hard.

No other job has caused me to send out an e-mail to 8 'older' mom's and pick their brains. No other job has brought me to my knees. Nothing else in my life has ever prompted me to need some time alone ~ even if it is at the grocery store. When it comes right down to it though nothing else has ever mattered this much. It's not about a sales goal, or meeting a deadline. It's about shaping a life. Molding a heart. Encouraging curiousity (but not too much).
So if you see my kids pictures and think "oh her kids are so adorable...she's got it all together" WRONG. I don't have it all together. I have a child having his temper in the grocery store and me looking at the cashier with eyes that say "ring me up fast". I have a child refusing to go to the van and climbing under the slide so I must go fetch said child. I have someone who thinks lying is quite funny. I am the mother of a child who repeatedly undresses herself. They don't always listen, they don't always obey. I'm done smiling and answering the question of "how's it going" with a "great" No my answer will be "I'm the trenches raising children of God. I need all the help I can get"
Yep this my friends is the hardest job I've ever had. I may not love every minute of it, but it's mine to do.

Cloth Diapering 101 ~ Washing

2009-07-23T20:22:00.007-04:00

My friend Country Mouse is expecting a Tiny Mouse and is planning on covering that little toosh with some cloth diapers. However she said "What do I do?" So how does a mama wash these diapers?

First you'll want to get a dry pail to store your used dipes in. Now when you take the dipe off, you'll want to shake off any poo in the potty and get a diaper sprayers to spray off anything else. I do NOT dunk and swish. :) I just toss them in the pail and depending upon your usage you'll know when you need to wash. I usually plan on a day to do it since I dry mine outside.

Ah yes...dirty dipes.

I'll warn you...not pretty:

Next you need to pull the inserts out of the diapers and start tossing into them into the washer.

What???? You mean I have to TOUCH them? Yes...you need to touch them. Wear gloves if you must but really it's not the end of the world.

^^ Here you can see an insert partially taken out.

Now before you toss the whole thing in the washer you want to do this:

Fasten your tabs. Otherwise everything gets all connected together in the washer and you end up with one large string of cloth diapers.

You'll want to add a mild detergent and wash the first time in cold.

The first time?

Yep ~ then you wash again in Hot.

Then rinse one more time in Hot water.

Why so many times? Well you want to get the diapers clean. Plus you want to get ALL the soap off the diapers.

Some things I've learned along the way:

*After washing/rinsing your inserts have a 'funny' odor to them. It's too much soap. Run the inserts thru one cycle with white vinegar and it will help get all the soap out and freshen them.

*Oxi-clean is great at whitening diapers and inserts but can cause reactions on some little tooshies. Poor Trible got awful rashes and for the life of me I couldn't figure it out. When I went to do a load of diapers I realized I was adding Oxi-clean to one load. Remember some of those harsher soaps are harder on damp skin.

*The sun is a natural bleaching agent. As long as the sun is shining I put all my diapers on a drying rack and stick them in the sun. It will naturally whiten any stains on your inserts.

*Refrain from using fabric softeners on your diapers.

Wordless Wednesday ~ Take a picture of this

2009-07-22T06:49:00.004-04:00

Happy Birthday Buddy

2009-07-16T19:38:00.002-04:00

Happy 3rd Birthday Buddy. My little man. You don't know that today is your 'happy day'. This mama doesn't have it in her to make you two 'happy cakes'. However, tonight when I prayed with/over you before bed I thanked Jesus for sending you 3 years ago. I'm not sure you got what I was saying as you were too busy sobbing over the fact that you didn't like the pajama shorts you picked to wear and I refused to change them again.
You have grown so much in the last year and not just in height. Your vocabulary has exploded. One year ago you had exactly one word. "dada" Now you speak in complete sentences. You ask me questions like "What's that noise?" Lately you have been declaring your love and like for things ~ mostly trucks, scoops and tractors. Occasionally a food item. Rarely your mama. When you do say it I treasure it in the depth of my heart. Your favorite foods are muenster cheese, black olives, strawberries and just about anything chocolate. You have searched for chicken in your mouth (and ours). You drew your first self potrait recently. Unfortunately you insisted that you use color wonder markers on a piece of cardboard. Some things are just not worth fighting over. I have learned my little man that you are very set in what you think. If you say you are or are not going to do something you follow through. Someday I know I will be thankful for that quality in you...however for now it may bring your mama to her knees.
Happy Day my little man...happy day.

Famous Last Words

2009-07-14T15:41:00.002-04:00

I think this is a new series for my blog. I seem to be repeating a lot of things around this house lately and surely someone must relate. So when I come up with one I'll be sure and share it. Some of them are clearly funnier than others. In the mean time here are some of my Famous Last Words. For fun you can guess who I said what to. This should get us started:

"If you are singing you aren't brushing"

"You need to get control"

"Seashells do not belong in the butter"

"Please put some under*pants on"

"What is going on in there?"

"Slow down little one"

"I'm sorry, but I must wash your face"

"The dishwasher is not a truck wash"

"Please stop using your excavator in my flower garden"

"That is a bird bath not for you!"

"I found all your little puppies, rocks, rubber frogs or snakes in the dryer"

Lunch with a friend...

2009-07-07T19:08:00.010-04:00

On Monday I was able to travel south and have lunch with a friend...and I documented the trip.... Enjoy!

Starting my journey.....

Driving down the highway.....

Traffic at the toll both???? WHAT??? You tourists were supposed to leave on Sunday!

I was making good time.....

Until this.....

And the little black dot you can BARELY see...a helicopter...actually counted four of them!

Not my intended route....

Or this way either....*sigh*

this IS the right way....

Finally!!! Jess!!! Many detours and re-routes but I made it there! What a great time meeting a friend, chatting....

You can see our almost gone dessert! I'm so glad I got a chance to meet her and it was well worth all the detours and driving!!!!

Progress

2009-06-28T12:55:00.004-04:00

Progress comes in small steps sometimes ~ rarely in large gigantic leaps like we'd all love to see. With Buddy it's small teeny-tiny baby steps. However once those teeny-tiny steps start and it turns into walking he takes off.
Over the last month to six weeks we've seen him (well at least it's been reported to us) that he's mimicking animal sounds in the nursery at church. First there were frowns, and scowls. Then he moved to growling and then the last few weeks it's been animal sounds. Cows, Lions, Elephants, Dogs ~ he's got a large repertoire.
Today though is the start of the running. He talked. He TALKED!!! In the nursery!! This is HUGE for him. I'm thrilled. I told him I was so proud of him for using his words. He smiled at me and said "Tank you mommy" (that TH blend is still a hard one sometimes) Now to keep the momentum going and that confidence growing. All the little changes though are working!
Would I like to have seen it happen six months ago? Yes. Would I have been as excited as I am today? Probably not. So progress in little steps is worth the wait don't you think?

How time flies

2009-06-22T18:52:00.004-04:00

Today I sent her to school as a Kindergartner

And got a 1st grader in return!

She is super excited ~ she got the teacher she 'wanted'. LOL! She based it upon 'she is nice and pretty'.

It's official

2009-06-17T20:27:00.004-04:00

Today I jumped on the scale's when I was cleaning at my friends house. Officially today I'm down...20 pounds. I'm THRILLED. Lots of too big clothes are leaving this house. Hopefully more will follow!!! To celebrate I spent this evening working out to my DVD of Jillian. Yeah I know...some celebration. Course how do you think I got to this point?

A good appointment day

2009-06-16T21:33:00.002-04:00

Today was Buddy's follow-up with his neurologist. This is what started our journey down the road of neurology. Then the abnormal EEG, and a subsequent normal MRI. Today though we got the 'all clear' to wait another year before we head back to see him. I'm thrilled. That's one less Dr we have to follow-up with, schedule appts around school hours, and more. And best of all...Buddy said "Thank You" to him as we were leaving. YES. See he does talk Dr M! Thank goodness for all our CDS reports to hand him.
When we got home there was a message from our therapist that OT was coming today and she forgot to call us. AHHH...that has the potential to put him over the age.
I told Buddy "Lynn called and said she's bringing Sara" "O-TAY MOMMMMMY" *SWEET!* Seriously he chatted Sara's ear off. Lynn and I were SHOCKED. He NEVER talks to any of the other therapists. I however, am learning, set no expectations for him and he'll adjust much better. He showed her his toys, he played football and basketball with her and just about ignored his sweet friend Lynn. All good though as Sara gave us some GREAT things to do with him to help him get his Sensory Input he craves ~ especially on rainy days when he can't get outside and swing or push he me-mar (lawn mower) around.

A good appointment day indeed.

Beach! Beach! Beach!

2009-06-15T14:58:00.007-04:00

Saturday morning was met with glorious weather here. The sun was shining....not too hot...a little breeze to keep the misquitos away (although not all the bugs). So we set to work cleaning up some flowers in our yard. I'm not talking weeding here folks. I mean wripping the flowers and the 3 inches of dirt below them OUT.OF.THE.GROUND. The flower was invasive and with any luck we got it up. Plus because this flower grows so tall, so fast the area had not been raked in years I would suspect. A haven for worms...and whatever else was living there. It was always very damp, and yucky. I picture a nice chair, or hammock under this gigantic oak tree in future summers....not tall invasive flowers.

The kids were great. They helped pull flowers, they washed the car and van, the played on their newly expanded swingset...for at least two hours. Did I mention it was GLORIOUS?!?!?!

Just about the time the younger two were getting up from their nap I suggested to hubby we hit a favorite sandwich spot and then the BEACH! Lovergirl has been BEGGING to go especially since her bathing suit came in the mail. So off we went!

First stop:mmm....so good!
The kids weren't as thrilled with their sandwhiches, as we were. Although I'm sure it had something to do with the fact that they dropped them in the sand. (Mental note ~ need to re-teach children how to sit on the blanket at the beach so the sand isn't flying)

They wanted to do this:

That is MY daughter...IN the MAINE water. In JUNE!!!!

I took a little girl down to see what big sister was doing....and there was NO fear of the cold water. (Yes that's me...freezing my feet in the water)

I have a pretty firm grip on her as the child has NO fear of the water. She wanted in!

Please, please let me go play!

And then there was this little man...

And what remains of the sand castle daddy built for them.

Looking forward to many more beach days this summer! Hopefully by August I'll have them retrained in proper sitting at the beach so sand isn't flying. Between now and then I apologize in advance if you happen to be near us :)

AAHH...

2009-06-12T12:29:00.005-04:00

I do still exist. Honest I do. See? *waves hi to you all* See we have about 5-1/2 days of school left and I'm running like a crazy woman. Summer is short here in Maine and I'm desperately trying to cram in all the kids appts, meetings, etc in just a short period of time so we can enjoy what part of summer there really is. With any luck when that happens I'll be better about putting some things up here.
First off ~ my title of room mom, and teacher's helper are about putting me over the edge. Do me a favor ~ if the room mom calls you and leaves you a message about helping out at a party and you can not...please do her the courtesy of just calling her back and leaving your regrets that you can not. She'd really like to know. She will not judge you (she better not anyway). Trust me...she'd much rather know, then guess and leave the teacher hanging in limbo wondering if we're going to have snacks for our mexican fiesta.
Secondly ~ if the teacher wants to make a slide show and said above room mom offers to scan in photos of your lovely beautiful darling child GET HER THE PICTURES. Do not wait until the week BEFORE the slide show. How hard is it to dig out two photos of your pride and joy and send them to school so the room mom can spend one evening scanning in photos instead of every couple of nights for two weeks?

Some other things happening:
Lovergirl announced that she thinks she looks better with out glasses. SIGH. Yeah, that was hard :( She said to me "Why am I the only one in our family that needs glasses?" Broke my heart. She knows that there is something wrong with her eyes. Oh how I wish I could fix it for her, but glasses are the best I know how (and the dr at this point and maybe forever). I'm so glad we have the technology to make nice thin lenses for her, so no one can tell really how bad her eyes are just by looking (her prescription is +4.25 in each eye...when I look thru her glasses I just about get sick).
Buddy is not on board with my potty training idea. He thinks I've lost my mind. "POTTY?" and then he runs away. I'm not pushing it. He's literally done everything in his life late, why should this be any different?
We have found a preschool for our little man. 40 min away. I'm not looking forward to that drive twice a week. However, it really will be the best for him and hopefully we can head off some things before they grow out of control. We don't know if his choosing to not talk to people is just his natural way of doing everything late considering he was a year behind in his speech, and he's just now noticed the world around him ~ like ants on the ground, or a butterfly fluttering thru the yard. Or if he's purposely choosing to not communicate ~ which is called selective mutism. If it is selective mutism it can get worse, to the point where he communicates (verbally or otherwise) with no one. We also announced to his caseworker we had absolutely no intention of placing him in kindergarten when he was 5, so as long as we all understood that now. Thankfully his SLP is awesome and she agreed. 110%
And another thing (oh wow...rant???) if you see us, and you say hi to my son and he does not respond...do not give me a dirty look. See above selective mutism or being a year behind. I seriously am thinking about not telling people how old he really is. No one would EVER expect an almost 2 year old to say hi to the person bagging our groceries, or a stranger standing in line. Please do not expect him to. I'm done explaining it to people who I will never see again b/c if he hears me say "he's shy" or "he doesn't like talking" then he thinks it's ok. How do I know that? He says to me "I shy" or "I no like talking" Brilliant Laurie. Brilliant. He's really a super-smart boy who will do things in his own time. Don't put timelines on my son.
Little Trible is growing like a weed. She's a tall thin little peanut who tries to run, but her feet can not keep up with the rest of her. That has resulted in a few bumps, cuts, and bruises. She prefers to be outside vs inside. Since big brother is going to preschool in the fall (and the state is paying me to transport him) Trible is going to go to Kindermusik type class. (It's not exactly Kindermusik, b/c again we live in Maine and well it might as well be the end of the earth. Oh wait...it is) What they pay me a week works out to be just a tiny bit more than her class once a week for 10 weeks (I think I get $18 a week, her class is $17) Plus we have some spare weeks when there is no class, so we'll go to open gym at a local gymnastics facility, and then the other day we'll go to story hour just down the road. I'm going to try and make it as fun as possible for her, b/c really...who wants to spend that much time on the road even if they do have a cool mama?
In amongst all this, I'm keeping up with life...you know meals, housework, enjoying the warm weather. Ready for summer...when we can slow down a little. Enjoy some time at the beach. Maybe go camping for the weekend. Fun. Family Stuff.

All the Hair you can Spare.

2009-05-20T11:10:00.011-04:00

Lovergirl participated in an "All the Hair You can Spare" event last night at our local baseball teams stadium. In exchange for donating 8+ inches of hair we got two free tickets to the game, a hat supporting our team....oh and an AWESOME hair cut.
Arriving at the stadium....hey....who is that sneaking in our picture???

Getting ready to cut it all off.

Emma and her stylist Chloe;

whoa! Looking cute!

Drying and Styling...that tickled, and tickled!

Checking herself out in the mirror!

Posing with her hair!

We made our way to our seats. Hey?!! Who is that?

Fried Dough.....YUMM!!!!

SO.VERY.COLD.

Back where we started!

Look who is walking!

2009-05-06T10:14:00.002-04:00

I flower you mama (or why I have no flowers in my garden)

2009-05-05T12:49:00.002-04:00

My wonderful husband has taught buddy the importance of giving girls flowers. Specifically his mama. It started with a flower from an area that I was ripping up plants so really in my mind pick away. I being the mama that was SO appreciative of his generosity awarded my son with hugs and kisses (his future wife can thank me). Every girl likes flowers right? Welllll....my son...my wonderful, darling 2-1/2 year old catches on quicker than I think.

You see all my hycanith were next to bloom. He picked EVERY.SINGLE.ONE. and brought them to me "I flower you mama" oh yes you did. See what is a mama to do? I'm happy my son is bringing me flowers but out of my own flower garden? EH. Do you have ANY idea what 9 hycanith smell like in your house? Let me assure you STINKY. I like them outside. Not in my kitchen.

Next my tulips bloomed. Again he picks away. BUDDY! Stay OUT of mama's garden! First off he brings them to me in his dirty little hands and I kid you not they have a 2 inch stem on them. Putting them in a vase is nearly next to impossible. Secondly my flower garden is more of a green garden. There are a few dead tulips out there, but everything else is green leaves with these gigantic stems sticking up in the air. It really is quite a sight.

Something tells me though this will all end when the peonies bloom as they are covered with ants. If there is something my son does not like is bugs. I suspect when he gets ants crawling on him from trying to snap off peony blooms he will be done.

At least I hope so. *sigh* Someday I'll have flowers in my garden. Someday. Until then I have a vase of tulips with 2 inch stems in my kitchen (the hycaniths were banned to the garage).

Camo Sleeping Beauty

2009-04-10T20:31:00.004-04:00

Miss Lovergirl got this GINORMOUS set of coloring pages from my mom last week. All of one of her favorite princess' ~ Sleeping Beauty. She likes her because she's modest and keeps her body covered (FYI ~ Jasmine & Ariel ~ she is not a fan...learn to cover your body girls. )

Tonight after dinner she asked if she could color. Sure you can honey! Out comes the book that takes up half the table (and of course Buddy grabbed his to cover the other half) and she picks out a fresh picture of Sleeping Beauty. She starts coloring...and planning, and coloring. "Look mommy, in this picture she's outside" "mmhhm"

"I think I'll color the bottom of her dress camo"

And so she does. I of course being the cool mama that I am, jump in and help (it's a BIG dress people!). We had to sharpen those colored pencils a few times but in the end when it was done she declared "I think it looks Awe-sssooome"

I don't think he realizes EXACTLY how much influence he has on her.

Happy Birthday Lovergirl

2009-04-02T14:27:00.003-04:00

Today you are six years old!!!! We are so proud of you and the young lady you are becoming! Today mommy stood in your classroom while your friends sang happy birthday to you and choked back tears! My first baby is growing up before my eyes! You love your sister and brother so much and you want to teach them everything you know. You love Jesus more than anything else and are not afraid to say it! We are so proud of you!! You my little girl have been a fighter from the beginning and doing anything against the odds put against you! The little baby who should have spent time in the NICU, but instead was born screaming! The toddler who could barely see, but yet learned to walk and talk anyway. Now the girl who entered kindergarten reading WAY above your grade level. You impress us and your teachers every day.

*pictures coming when we celebrate this weekend*

Happy Birthday Trible!

2009-03-24T09:57:00.005-04:00

Happy Birthday Little Girl! Love you so much!

Just minutes after she was born!

Going home from the hospital! Loved her hair sticking out thru her hat!!!

One year later......

Tubby in the sink! Still with ALL THAT HAIR!

Enjoying her breakfast birthday muffin!

Shake it baby (Dance, Dance, Dance)

2009-03-17T06:21:00.002-04:00

The Three Billy Goats Gruff

2009-03-16T11:44:00.003-04:00

When we stay up late

2009-02-05T19:44:00.003-05:00

Miss Trible is still sick. :( Poor baby. Tonight she was having trouble going to sleep so we played......

I think I found a new way to do her hair!!! :)

Planning for Valentines Day

2009-02-03T20:20:00.003-05:00

Last year we started a new Valentines tradition. Sort of out of necessity but it was fun none the less. Our sitters go out on Valentines day for dinner themselves so we typically go out on a different evening. However, we celebrate Valentines day as a family on the day. I'm looking forward to this year because it's on a Saturday. So I'm already planning ahead. For breakfast we'll have pancakes ~ Pink & White ones. Then I'll cut heart shapes out of each and insert into the opposite color. Dinner that night will be mini-burgers ~ which the kids LOVE. We use brown & serve rolls as the burger rolls and the kids have discovered French's Fried Onions to top them with! I'm still trying to come up with a 'side' for that evening. Dessert will be their favorite ~ Chocolate Dipped Strawberries! YUMM!

What fun things do you plan for Valentines day?

Today I laugh

2009-02-01T13:25:00.007-05:00

I love Dilbert. I swear (well I don't swear, but well you know) I worked there. As I've been home now for five years I don't always relate but today was one that had me LOL and so hard that my husband said "what??" This is today's Dilbert:

Yes, I was asked to do this!!!!!!

You park cars in there?

2009-01-26T20:41:00.002-05:00

This past Sat Lovergirl had a play date with a friend from school. I took her over and dropped her off and then went back to pick her up. As we were leaving she said to me "I think R must not get to go to the grocery store" !?!?!?! "Why is that sweetie?" "oh well they only have that truck out there" "Sweetie I'm thinking they probably park their van in their garage" To which she looked at me and said "REALLY???? Why do people do that?"

See we have a garage but as I said here, we're storing someone else things and so we have never parked in our own garage. I assured her as soon as ALL of the stuff is out of our garage that we too will park our van in our garage.

A day I'm looking forward to myself!!!

I changed my mind....

2009-01-23T08:18:00.004-05:00

When I said practice just your standing this is not what I meant!!!

The words came flying out of my mouth

2009-01-20T14:33:00.004-05:00

....before I could stop them. "Honey bring the snowblower in the sun room to work on it. The ice will thaw and it will be easier to do"

After I said it I thought WHAT have I done?

So in it came. Unfortunately in order to do so, it required taking the door off.

*Please note we are not packrats with all that stuff in our garage...instead we're storing a family-members house contents while they buy a house!

I am now however, happy to report that the snowblower is fixed, it is out of the house and back in the garage, ready for the next storm.

Little Girl

2009-01-19T06:07:00.000-05:00

Little girl. Tonight you have put your mama over the edge! Cruising around the train table to wreack havoic on your brother and sister. Taking apart the train track as I try to put it back together. Then laughing and moving on to the next part. I know you want to chase them and I think your daddy & I are right. You will be walking very, VERY, soon.

Then just before bedtime you really did your mama in. Climbing up the stairs? What are you thinking??? You are not 10 months old yet! You should be practicing your crawling, or pulling yourself up to stand. Not climbing stairs! How about learning to sit from crawling? Or do you think you won't need to do that because you have running in mind?

And apparently you think you no longer need a bib!

Menu Plan Monday

2009-01-18T16:12:00.009-05:00

Our menu for the week!

Sat ~ Homemade Baked beans (YUM!) Corn bread and homemade bread

Sunday ~ Lasagna

Monday ~ Date night for hubby and I. Leftovers for the kids & sitters!

Tuesday ~ Nasty Nacho's. FAR from nasty...they are WONDERFUL!

Wednesday ~ Chicken Scampi ~ I'm taking a Shrimp Scampi recipe and using chicken instead...b/c that is what I have!

Thursday ~ Bison Steaks (found on sale this week) and baked potatos with a veggie

Friday ~ Leftovers

Saturday ~ Homemade Pizza Night!

Did I forget how to cook????

2009-01-16T14:45:00.003-05:00

I love the other girl in my life. She brings me so much joy and ease. You know the one ~ normally in yellow, with the red top...her name begins with P (am). I was introduced to her shortly after I was married. See even though she had been around for quite some time, she was never in our home growing up. We did things the 'old fashioned' way. Pans were greased with crisco, or butter. Eggs were cooked in bacon grease. *YIKES* Surely my heart just skipped a beat typing that out.
This week I was not due to go on a food gathering trip until Wed. On Tuesday I was out of bread. No problem I'll just bake some! Enter flour, yeast, sugar, water, oil & more. Bread rises, bread falls. I go to reach for the other girl in my kitchen and realize she's gone. She was empty the night before and so she went to be recycled. I text hubby at the school to pick up my girl on the way home. He comes home MINUS the girl. Um...what to do...what to do.... Seriously it was like I had forgotten how to cook. Had I blocked all those years of wiping crisco on the inside of a pan with a paper towel from my memory? The dusting of flour evenly ~ hoping to avoid clumping and wearing it all at the same time? What had become of my pre-married baking days? Somewhere in the back of my mind that memory was triggered and I could bake bread! I could feed my family warm, yummy, homemade bread! I could survive without her!
On Wednesday I warmly welcomed her back into my kitchen. Her rightful place in front of all the spices and EVOO. There she is safe and sound, ready to grease my pots and pans. Oh how I love her. :)

Finding it necessary...

2009-01-08T14:27:00.004-05:00

As the days go on lately I'm finding it necessary to disconnect from various 'things' in my life. All in all they may be very good things, but they are becoming a distraction. Something that I pour myself into, when I should be pouring myself into something else. Like praying, or listening to my Savior.
Where is the coming from?

Some recent conversations I've had with my husband. We've really been discussing demons (yes, I firmly belive they exist and are having a PARTY) that are in our lives. I think many Christians, myself included are oppressed (read that word again oppressed) by demons. I think we don't realize the extent of the spiritual warfare that is happening in our own homes. I am realizing for myself that my distractions from my children, my Bible and my husband can be the work of demons (I don't think that is the case all the time, but I do think it happens). I get sucked into something, that initially looks very good. However, it is used for evil. Me neglecting time with Jesus. Repenting of sin. I'm also realizing how much sin really does have an effect on future generations. How, anger, control, bitterness is a sin in my own life, but how it can be traced back to generations previous. Does that mean I am exempt from it? Hardly. It means I need to get work on it! The importance of prayer for protection of ones heart, and mind is so important. I am praying for my childrens protection now like never before. I need to pray over my daughter before she leaves for school in the morning. NOT check a blog. I need to pray over my son when he's having a meltdown...NOT post something. I need to pray over my baby instead of getting sucked into something. In addition I'm getting out of conversations that only get me fired up on the inside. If I'm constantly misunderstood then it's time (in my mind) to move on. I need to stop devoting time and energy to things that at the end of the day do not matter one bit.

I'm realizing the importance and the freedom that is the cross. I need to embrace that every day. With that freedom though comes great responsibility for accountability, for repentance, for forgiveness. I have years and years of junk and crap that I need to work through. It needs to be worked through now, so as to not effect my children and grandchildren.

Hey, hey, hey you are saying! What in the world?!?! I'm not going to devote every post now to repentance, and demons and the cross. But know where I'm coming from. And if I'm not around much whether it be here or somewhere else there is a reason. I'm measuring against a much higher standard than before. There are times in ones life where they have to cut things out to make room for something else. This is one of those times.

If you aren't reading this...

2009-01-07T19:09:00.002-05:00

then you should be. Seriously this guy is funny! Stuff Christians Like.

A little bit of drama?

2009-01-05T13:07:00.002-05:00

Happy....

Ehh...not so much

Wally The Green Monster ~ Taking one for the team

2009-01-03T19:04:00.004-05:00

Our fridge holds a very special magnet ~ Wally the Green Monster. He holds up special homework papers, drawings and lately a homemade snowflake (no idea why it's yellow)

We also have Trible in our house. AKA Miss Grabby-Grab-A-Lot. If it's within her reach, she is grabbing it. Hair, magazines, books, food, cups, and in this case a snowflake. This snowflake that was made with love by Lovergirl has been pieced back together more than once because of Miss GGAL.
Tonight she was in her daddy's arms and she reached over to the fridge and sure enough got the snowflake. I quickly said "oh no...not again" and daddy took a step hoping she would let go. Unfortunately she did not.

And Wally took one for the team:

He is no longer standing on his field in front of his wall. Not to mention his arm broke off :( Our beloved bobble-head Wally The Green Monster saved snowflake, but it was definately a sacrifice.

She's standing!

2008-12-17T21:26:00.003-05:00

Miss Trible did this today....

She's been attempting this for a week now, and so we knew it was only a matter of time. While yes, we're excited she's reached another milestone, we're also a little sad because she's NOT even nine months old yet!!!! It's only a matter of time and the girl will be running after her brother & sister!

Ice Storm

2008-12-13T19:49:00.005-05:00

Pictures from our lovely storm that is causing "Confusion and Delay" (yes we watch a bit too much Thomas the train).

Nothing exciting

2008-12-05T13:18:00.002-05:00

Nothing exciting to share. I have some sort of lovely virus that has made my tummy quite sour. So I'm trying to avoid as much food as possible.
Yesterday I volunteered at the school ~ thinking that's where I picked up said tummy bug.
Tuesday was Buddy's MRI ~ he's such a trooper! He did SO well! And wouldn't you know now that he can be out and out about, mama is sick so we stay home. *sigh*
Hoping to put the tree up this weekend and finish up some Christmas shopping.

There is S-N-O-W in the forecast for this weekend. I live in the wrong state. I don't like the cold, and I REALLY don't like the white stuff.

Buddy got a new big-boy bed this week. Last night was his first night sleeping in it. My mom got him some new 'choo-choo' (Thomas the train) sheets and he is LOVING it! I'm a little sad he's growing up!
Tribles dresser is done and hubby picked it up last night. It's beautiful! Hoping to get it into her room tonight and put her clothes away!
Lovergirl is SO excited that vacation is over. She just loves school SO much. Yesterday she was the leader at school. I thought she might combust!
I think at this hour it's time to drag my self through the shower...maybe that will help me feel better...or I'll just need another nap. As if the 2-1/2 hour nap this morning wasn't long enough!

Before & After ~ Dining Room

2008-11-25T09:15:00.005-05:00

Dining Room Before

you can sort of see the LOVELY green border and green light

Dining Room After!!!

Crispy Orange Chicken

2008-11-21T18:54:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago Lovergirl was helping me write out a menu and requested Crispy Orange Chicken. Ummmm. OK. Never made crispy orange chicken before but I'll give it a whirl. I couldn't imagine where she had tried it and she kept saying "But you've made it before" So I set to work researching recipes, gathering ingredients. I spent part of an afternoon making for my lovely daughter crispy orange chicken.

I was SO proud of trying this new recipe and served it with a smile. She quickly looked at it and said "This is NOT crispy orange chicken." Oh I was heartbroken! The title of the recipe was "Crispy Orange Chicken" It even said so.

Tonight I was fixing a quick dinner for our family. Peas & chicken. I cut the chicken up and grabbed my favorite box of seasoning and dipped and seasoned and cooked. I tossed the meal on plates and served. My beautiful daughter proudly looked at me and said "YES! Crispy Orange Chicken"

This my friends is Crispy Orange Chicken:

That's right my friends.....Shake 'N Bake... Lesson learned

Can you vote for my friend?

2008-11-19T06:27:00.001-05:00

http://coffeegirlconfessions.blogspot.com/2008/11/this-ones-for-goodies.html My friend Diane (#3 in this poll!!!) would REALLY appreciate your vote!!!!

Christmas Songs ~ Come sing with us!!??!?!?

2008-11-13T13:30:00.004-05:00

It is no secret in this house that this mommy has a new love. Thats right. I said it. LOVE. My new Travis Cottrell Christmas CD Ring the Bells. It's AMAZING. I play it loud and often. Lovergirl has quickly picked up on the songs and has been singing it with me. As I was in the middle of my ~~obsession~~ getting in the Christmas spirit the other evening we were again listening. Miss LG was singing away to "In The First Light" when we hit the chorus:
Hear the angels
As they're singing on the morning of His birth
But how much greater is salami
When He comes again, When He comes again,

D stopped her RIGHT there. WHAT? "How much greater what was the next part?"

She very matter-of-factly replied "Is salami when He comes again, When He comes again"

Yes we did correct her that it should be "But how much greater WILL OUR SONG BE when He comes again, When He comes again"

However, for probably the next 20 years when I sing this song, very quietly you will hear me say "is salami" *giggle*

Where do they learn?

2008-11-06T11:23:00.002-05:00

Where does a child learn to close his eyes when you open his door when he's never shared a room before?
Or suddenly that he doesn't like crust on his bread?
To hide behind the curtains (funny to see him back there though with his little legs sticking out).
Where do little girls learn to flash smiles at their daddy in order to melt his heart?
Or a little boy learn to give his mama a sticky smooch?

While some of things aren't so fun (like trying to get him to suddenly eat crust again), others just really are the sweetest, sweetest thing.

What's your favorite?

Ok I'll admit it...

2008-11-04T18:29:00.002-05:00

I don't like fall. There I said it. I don't particularly care for fall. It's almost a sin to live in Maine and not like fall I know. The apples, the leaves, the crisp air. Yes, I like the apples, sure the leaves are pretty. I enjoy a sweater from time to time and warm fuzzy socks. I can get all those things on a weekend visit! All the leaves, except the oak leaves, have fallen off the trees. Which means my lawn needs to be raked. The oak ones will attempt to hang on for a LONG time I'm afraid. And they're not pretty any more...they are brown. BLECH. And so I stand looking out my front door (and it's dark by now at 6:35 pm) and realize that yes all this will soon be covered up. The grass will be gone. My husband will be excited with the first sign of snow. *eye roll* That there is the OTHER reason I don't like fall. Winter is next *shudder*

I think I'd like to be a bear...hibernating is good!!!